S02E07 Kristina: Pandemic Pregnancy to Empowered Parenting: Resilience, Gentle Support and Connection

Kristina's resources are below this desription

If you’re craving a nuanced, practical take on birth, breastfeeding, and entrepreneurship/work- light on dogma, big on real-life problem-solving then this is the story for you. 

A long labour, a late epidural, and then the hardest part hits after birth: every latch feels like fire. When Kristina finally asks to stop, one midwife shames her- and another walks in with calm, options, and a plan that changes everything. That simple shift from pressure to partnership unlocks two years of breastfeeding and a new level of confidence.

In this lovely episode, Kirstina takes you through her pandemic-era pregnancy in Switzerland, why she kept her bilingual daycares open for essential workers, and how trusting her care team helped her feel safe during a marathon birth (at Clinique de la Source in Lausanne). You’ll hear why she considered birth preferences with A, B, and C paths; how a silicone nipple shield, rest, and reassurance transformed feeding; and why boundaries matter in vulnerable moments. She shares the realities of returning to work on day seven postpartum, turning a lack of daycare spots into a creative weekly rhythm, and navigating a baby who refused every bottle and almost every formula. With a paediatrician’s guidance, yogurt and cup feeds bridged the daytime gap, while nights became a dance of compensating feeds and evolving sleep.

We also dig into public breastfeeding in Switzerland, responding to judgement without losing yourself, and the surprising ease of weaning during a five-day trip when timing finally aligned. Kristina challenges common myths about “equal” night shifts and bottle-fed bonding, showing how attachment thrives when parents play to their strengths and stay responsive to the child in front of them. 

Thank you Kristina for sharing your story with us!

If this conversation resonated, tap follow, leave a quick review, and share it with a friend who needs supportive, shame-free birth and feeding stories. Your feedback helps more parents find us and feel less alone.

Kristina's Resources:

Insta: @babina970 

Website: www.babinakristina.com (here you can learn all about her diverse projects and businesses)

FB: Kristina Babina 

Chapters

• 0:07 Meet Christina And The Hosts
• 1:12 Kristina’s Background And Entrepreneurship
• 2:29 Deciding On Partnership And Parenthood
• 5:36 Surprise Pregnancy And COVID Timing
• 10:47 Working Through Pregnancy During Lockdowns
• 12:16 Labour Begins And Hospital Arrival
• 16:12 Long Labour, Epidural, And Birth
• 20:36 Birth Preferences And Flexible Mindset
• 25:56 Social Pressure, Nuance, And Trusting Care
• 31:10 Breastfeeding Pain And Midwife Clash
• 36:39 The Male Midwife’s Game-Changing Support
• 41:45 Going Home, Help From Mom, Back To Work
• 46:06 No Daycare Slot And Creative Logistics
• 50:12 Bottle Refusals, Yogurt Solution, And Nights
• 55:10 Public Breastfeeding And Boundaries
• 1:00:28 Weaning With A Five-Day Reset
• 1:04:20 Sleep, Roles, And Responsive Parenting

Transcript

Julia: 0:07

Hi, welcome to Twist Birth Stories. I'm Julia Neal, mother, perinatal educator, hypnobirthing coach, and trainee doula.

Christine: 0:17

And I'm Christina Bliven. I'm a doula, baby wearing consultant, childbirth educator, and mother of three. Today we're talking to Christina, a high-energy entrepreneur based in LaSonne. She shares the story of meeting her husband and their journey to parenthood, including the pivotal difference that one male midwife made in her breastfeeding journey. Her story highlights the importance of a strong support system, including kicking those out that you don't feel comfortable with, balancing work and motherhood as an entrepreneur, and the struggles of starting, maintaining, and eventually weaning off of breastfeeding.

Julia: 0:54

Hi, Christina. Welcome to Swiss Birth Stories. We're so happy to have you here.

Kristina: 1:00

Hello, thank you so much for the invitation, and I'm very happy to share my story with you today.

Julia: 1:05

Fantastic. Before we begin, could you tell us a little bit about you and your family?

Kristina: 1:12

Sure. So I'm Christina. I'm originally from Russia, but we've been living in Switzerland since I'm 13 years old. So I have a double nationality. I've met my husband when I was 32 years old. And then we hit it off quite quickly. And soon I got pregnant and we got married. So now I'm 36. My husband is 43. And we have a very cute little girl who is three years old now. And I'm an entrepreneur. I have my own day, the chain of private bilingual daycare startup here in French speaking part of Switzerland, as well as a primary school and a family sport center, and a couple of other projects that I'm involved either with partners or as a co-organizer. And um yeah, so speaking several languages, and always very happy to meet new moms, share with moms. And uh yeah, that's why I really appreciate what you do.

Christine: 2:20

Wow, that is incredible. That's a lot of a lot of things going on at once. Um all right, well, let's let's jump in. Do you maybe start with the pregnancy, how um how you guys decided to have kids, um and how the pregnancy went?

Kristina: 2:38

So uh we uh as I said, we've met with my husband. Both of us were quite adults already, right? Um, so I remember telling him right away that if he wanted like a long-term, this kind of like vague relationship, seeing each other once a week, um, that I was uh too busy and in a week I will forget his name already. So he was quite impressed with the start. And he told me, yeah, but I'm also 40 years old, and uh yeah, I'm looking for something serious. Uh uh so um we started to get to know each other, and then very quickly, I guess I was very lucky because at that point I was also a bit of desperate in a sense that um I was 32, and I've seen that not many men are actually looking for a serious relationship. And uh they don't really know themselves, they don't really know what they want, they don't really understand what type of woman they want, etc. Um, so that's why I was quite like at this point, I was even thinking of maybe having a child by myself, basically, because um with the age, uh I was thinking that maybe like whatever, I don't need anyone else doing by myself. And that was Matt, um, through friends. And uh very quickly, um we understood that a kind of like we have very similar points on everything, like in terms of uh the relationship, in terms of how to raise seeds, in terms of values, um, in terms of what we want to do, like uh work and uh make it um together with the family, uh being like one part, uh and not this like separate uh people who are just living together, but actually creating something together. Uh and uh yeah, we started to um he he he used to be in another canton from me, uh not too far away, but at the same time it didn't make any more a lot of sense uh to be uh in two separate cantons. So at some point he moved uh in uh to my place. Uh however, he was keeping his apartment uh because I told him like, well, I mean, we don't know each other for very long time, right? I don't want to have like any um like any situation where if we need to uh kind of uh separate that you have nowhere to go or uh like all those uh questions where we were both psychic because we both were only our um our apartment, uh so that's uh allowed to kind of disprint uh the um the threat about that, right? Um and then uh we talked about obviously kids, uh and he told me, yeah, yeah, I'm open to that, but we've never actually planned anything. So we just said, whatever, we're both ready and we'll go with the flow. Uh and uh then actually, I think he was the first one. I don't think I remember very well because he told me I was pregnant.

Julia: 5:47

Wow, really?

Kristina: 5:50

I was like thinking that everything is good, and then at some point he told me that I think you are pregnant. And I'm like, no way, uh whatever. I'm talented. I was telling them, I'm talented, you know, I'm talking my days and everything. Like, I don't think you're counting, right?

Julia: 6:09

What what were the signs that he noticed in you? I'm so curious.

Kristina: 6:13

Well, I I guess first of all, he noticed that it's been like a period when I didn't have my periods, right? And uh without going into much intimacy. But he told me that, and I was like, no, no, that's because I finished my peel, and you know, you don't understand, you're a man. It's like it's always like that when we don't talk to peel anymore. You uh like your periods are not regular and things like that. It was like, no, I feel something. I think we should make a test. And we basically went uh for a weekend, and then on the way back from the weekend, we stopped at the pharmacy. I bought a test, and I was sure it was negative. Like, I was very sure there was absolutely like no real site, except that like one week before we had like uh a bottle of wine together and everything, and I vomited after it, but I put it all on the site or for the artisan that we ate, and I was like, maybe it was not fresh, you know. And then basically, well, the test was positive, and we were very happy, we were quite surprised. So he confirmed that my math uh knowledge was not good enough, and then I don't know how to tell. Um, but basically, um really we were very happy about it. We both wanted a baby girl, uh, and then there was cotton, right? So it was during uh this uh start uh of the COVID, and I told him I don't want to let know anyone, even if his family, before I'm three months pregnant, and he was like, okay, and then he was telling me that's a bit fair because your mom knows. Because to my mom, I said I was like maybe I don't know, eight or nine weeks. Um it's not fair. It's like I'm like, no, come on, wait, because I like it's my mom, but I don't want like you have a huge family, everyone will know. I have only my mom that's safe, uh uh and everything. He was like, okay, I'll wait. And then the day we were supposed to tell his family because I was three months pregnant, right? I make a test and I'm positive to COVID. And I tell him, like, no, we don't tell anyone because I didn't know what how it's gonna affect. Maybe like uh something goes wrong, so I don't want actually, I don't want every anyone to know. We'll just wait uh until this uh thing goes away and we'll see. And I was quite lucky because I had a I would say very easy COVID. Basically, I had a fever for one day, and then I was 10 days at home, but without any symptoms, but just because I was not allowed to go outside, etc. Um, making my controls with the doctor, and the doctor confirmed that everything was okay. At the same time, we did this uh 12-week test uh for like any uh specific problems with the child, etc. We also asked to know the gender, but concerned with the cat because there is an option. And then yes, we knew that it's a girl, and that's when we announced to uh kind of the whole world first to see family, obviously, and then to the friends and everything, uh that I was pregnant with the baby girl.

Julia: 9:37

Oh, fantastic. Did did you um feel like uh as it was the pandemic that you could finally like let people know it like this like little secret? Because in the pandemic, I know you could keep secrets really easily. Uh so how how did it how did that feel for you?

Kristina: 9:56

Well, it was great. I mean, I I was not thinking that I'm keeping a secret. For me, it was just really like to make sure that everything is fine because uh I would prefer to feel safe, even though obviously something can go wrong further away. Yeah, but in these three first three months, for me it was just important uh to be with myself uh and with the news and uh just to make sure that uh there's no complications in this uh first trimester, basically.

Julia: 10:24

So privacy rather than secrecy.

Kristina: 10:26

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then uh when everyone knew, I mean, uh I was very happy as well because everyone uh was happy for us, uh at least I hope everyone was happy for us. And uh I would continue working because my daycare was open during the COVID. Uh at that point, uh, all my teams decided uh to be a help to the people who had to work, uh medical services and uh police, etc. And we do have to have uh some labor of families where one of the parents or both of the parents are at those types of services, and um the team decided to support them, and I supported the team basically, um to stay open. We had a limited number of places, but we did uh we was we were still open doing shits, uh, etc. And I think some of my uh employees uh the decision was uh voted by everyone. But even some employees were saying, no, it's great because we don't want to just stay home, it's so like not nice. We still want to continue to do something, uh something useful. And so we keep we were supporting uh the families, and I was doing shifts as well um with my director of the daycare, trying to limit this uh exposure. So we did one day uh I go, one day uh the director would go, and we were switching like that around daycare. At that point, I had uh two daycare opened, so it was a bit easier to manage. Uh, and then yeah, so I continued working all through all my presentation basically, till the last day in doing sports. I was very lucky, I guess, because really I didn't have a uh like uh I think up until seven months, people didn't even see that I was pregnant until I would actually say it. Um but it was not uh very visible. I took on um uh eight and a half kilograms during the whole pregnancy. Uh so quite not a lot, uh, and that allowed me I was feeling quite well, I was continuing doing my sports. Uh, I've changed my sports to more of aquatic aqua gym and uh swimming and things like that. Uh and then well, it was like Tuesday, I went to work. Uh Wednesday I went to work and super sports, and then in the night from Wednesday to Thursday, basically, I can and um in the beginning I didn't even understand actually. I was always like, You gotta have my husband in open time because we was telling him, like, that's strange. I was in the shower and I was peeing for too long. And he's like, really, you it's not that. Maybe you're what a bro.

Christine: 13:22

And I'm like, no. I'm working a theme here where he tells you what's going on. Hi, I'm Christina, Adula, baby wearing consultant, a childbirth educator, and mother of three. I'm the owner of Lily Bee, a family hub in Zurich where you can find resources, community, and support in English as you begin your journey into parenthood. It takes a village. Find yours here.

Kristina: 14:03

And so I convinced him that I was okay because I didn't feel anything. And then we went to sleep, and then like at around four or five in the morning, I went again to the toilet. And I was like, no, that's very strange. And I I woke him up and then maybe we should call the hospital.

Julia: 14:22

Were you full term? Like, like how far along were you?

Kristina: 14:26

Yeah, so my term was 10th of May. Yeah. And that was uh basically fourth of like morning of the 6th of May, so very close to the term. Thanks. And you called the hospital and hospital. Yeah, we think we like, yes, you should come. Uh but not stress. I took my shower, our bank was ready. Um, before that, I had time to do my mailing cure and prepared everything. So we walked into the hospital and I was not surprised at all. And then they made it control. They're like, yeah, yeah, well, you're blocking broad, it's tweaking. So I don't feel like anything. Can I go like all my you have to try it? Like, oh, how much time? We don't know. I haven't been a lot of time for that. So for me, like saying the hospital is the worst thing in the world. I have a word, but I don't feel any pain, I don't feel anything. Maybe I just can go walk around and come back, and that's how you should say and um I say it took the quite uh a lot of time, and I did have to do this um a kind of uh after like 30 hours, I guess. Uh they had to uh give me the medicine to a kind of accelerate uh the things because then there was this uh risk of um infection and uh things like that. Um, and so in the morning of the 6th of May, uh I went really into Laban and my daughter was born uh around 2 p.m. Uh so two in the afternoon. Um, it went quite well. I had the bath, uh, and in the beginning I wanted to have like natural birth, so I didn't want the terridural. So I pulled it, I think, like almost till the end, but because it was so long, uh, not even the pain, but just the fact that I was very tired uh of this uh thing. Um, I had my terridural like two hours before she was born, basically. And it was quite funny because all this uh time along I was working as well. I had my computer and my phone and I was on the phone. It was actually like in a movie. My my gynecologist at some point was like, madam, can we call it? Send me email later.

Christine: 17:08

We need you to push. Oh my god.

Kristina: 17:12

What uh what hospital were you at? Um at La Clinique de la Source in Lausanne. Okay. It's a private uh clinic. We chose it because we really liked the visit, and my gynecologist, who was following me uh through the whole pregnancy, and I knew him for 10 years now, uh, so was very uh feeling very confident with him, and he is the giving birth there, uh receiving birth is there. Uh so um it for me it was more like I needed to be sure in the team the place was not uh that important to me. Yeah. But since I knew the gynecologist, and I've been several times at the at La Source, uh I felt very confident was uh was this decision. And yeah, so I mean it took a bit of time, but uh natural birth. Uh I lost a bit of blood. Uh apparently I lost conscious like for a couple of seconds, but then quickly they uh made it all work uh and look good, so I didn't even have to go to the like operation block or anything like that. So they were able, my genealicologist was able to finish everything uh as it's supposed to be directly in the birthroom. And then uh another cute part is that well, my mom is not living in Switzerland, right? So uh she was booking her flight to arrive on the 6th of May, uh, because the term was on the 10th. So she was like, uh, if it's on the 10th, and usually they say like first pregnancy is usually a bit longer. So she's like, yeah, I'm arriving like one week before, you know, so that I can be with you and everything. And so well, I obviously told my mom that I was in the hospital on Thursday, and she's like, Oh my god, I'm going to be late. It was horrible, and I cannot change the tickets anymore. Because in any case, it was like for the day, for the next day, right? So it didn't make a lot of sense. And what was happening is that like she went on the plane. Uh, I had her on the phone. I was like, it's okay, I'm not giving birth yet. Like, we're waiting for it and everything. And so she was on the plane, and she arrived. And when she landed to Geneva, I was taken to the birthroom. So for the final basically uh thing. So again, my husband was with the phone, I was telling to my mom, I'm on the birthroom, but you're not late, you know. Yeah, we booked her a transfer, so somebody was waiting for her to bring her to the to the clinic. And basically, when me and my husband Nina walked out of the birthroom with this little carrier, like on the wheels, you know, with the baby. My mom entered with her like traveling bag and we were going like one in front of another. So she was like perfect timing.

Speaker 3: 20:05

Oh, that's amazing.

Kristina: 20:07

It was so cute. I told my mom, you see you're not we just came out.

Julia: 20:14

Oh, that's amazing. So you were you were walking out of the birth out of the birth suite just right after she was born. Yes. That's amazing even with like a lot of blood loss, like you were feeling well.

Kristina: 20:26

I was feeling all good. I mean, I'm I'm quite a person that uh really believe in mantle things. Like I'm able to tell to myself when I'm sick, I'm able to go in the front of the mirror and say, like, today you cannot be sick, you know? Like you have work to do, you have responsibility, so you're not sick. Take a medicine and then leave hope. And a couple of hours later would be better. Uh of course, I mean, there are no like miracles. Like, I have a couple of things, like algine, for example, like uh my throat when it really hurts. I'm really like blocked for one day in bed. And even my mental cannot do anything about it. I really need antibiotics, and uh then I go battle, you know. But otherwise, yeah, I really believe in that. So I was not I was in confidence with the team. Uh, they really followed all my wishes from the uh like the birth plan, basically, that I I have rolled to the clinic. They look fantastic in terms of that, like everything that I demanded was done, and actually, I uh in my country it's very common, I don't know how in here, but after the birth to make like um a kind of um like a belly, yes, elastic bandage on the belly, and it's very common uh in my country. So I wrote it and I was like, yeah, uh straight after birth, I would like I brought the bandage with me and everything, I would like to put it in. And basically, when I lost conscious, but they were so good while the doctor was finishing me up, and between like this five or six seconds of me being unconscious, I woke up and I already had my bandage on me. I was like, oh, thank you. I was like, okay, yeah, it's all good.

Julia: 22:09

Wow. Um, what when you were when you were pregnant, how did you come across your birth preferences? How did you plan for birth and also for the plan that the birth plan and preferences that you had?

Kristina: 22:23

So basically I didn't have a lot of preferences. I mean, uh, I was already uh a kind of uh uh overwhelmed with a lot of information due to my work, right? So I have decades and I see families every time, and we usually see families while they're still pregnant, and then we know uh in in terms of my teens, at least know uh when the child starts to go. For us, it's very important also to understand how the birth went, right? Because there is a lot of things that we can learn about the baby uh based on the uh on the way the pregnancy and the birth went through, right? So, of course, it's confidential information, uh, but we do explain to parents that it's not because we're curious, but it really can help us and we can advise them better as well in terms of uh and child development and emotional state and things like that, you know, because the adaptation period can be very difficult. Uh, but sometimes it's not because the mom is not ready, but because she had a uh bad experience in the hospital or something like that. So it's very important for us to understand uh how things uh went through. So I've I've heard a lot of stories because uh in the beginning, specifically, uh, when I was just starting my business, uh, it was me making the visits with the families and things like that. So I already had a lot of information. In my what I've concluded from all the huge amounts of information is that you for the birth, you cannot plan anything. And it's not you who decide, and it's only the maybe a bit of chance, the baby, the nature, uh, for those who believe in God, maybe a bit of God as well. Uh, but it's a mix of different uh things which you cannot predict in advance. So uh, for example, in my birth plan, I obviously wrote that I wanted like the natural uh birth and uh um uh that I wanted to breastfit uh and that uh I wanted bandage and things like that, right? But then every time I was writing, I was writing as well, saying, like, pa if needed, uh, if I need a cesarean, then please do a cesarean. If this goes wrong, and uh for my breastfitting, I also wrote that yes, I would like to breastfit. However, I don't want to do it like at any cost. And if I will feel like I cannot do it for some reason, I don't want to be forced. Uh it's okay to be both ways, basically. Uh whatever the nature plans, uh, I'm fine, but um not the person who will do it at any cost, uh, like dying from pay just to breastfeed. That was not um my scenario, right? So every time I kind of had in my birth plan like ABC options, like the excellent one, then it's okay if you have to do pay, and then like if it's really bad, then just do whatever, don't ask me. I'm not the professional here, you know. So I guess, yeah, that I didn't look for information uh because I had a lot of information as well, due to my work and due to uh a lot of continuous uh educational programs that I've done. Uh, but I was able just to let it go. I literally didn't think about anything, I didn't read anything, I didn't listen to podcasts, I didn't uh like uh wanted to go on the social media to ask advice. Uh because for me it's just very different. It really differs from your family situation, your um your own health, um, how you see the things, maybe religious stuff as well, etc. etc. And I've also learned in this life that not to criticize anyone uh and let people do what they feel like, because for me that's that's what can make people um happy and corrupt. And of course I have my own values, right? But I'm working with very international um families and things like that, and I'm always ready to hear the other side of the story, you know, like uh why people do things, why people do choices like that. And uh, yeah, sometimes we have mothers like to smoke during pregnancy, right? And uh obviously, like for me, uh it was like personally, I would be like, Well, that's a bit not that good, right? But then I had a very like I had great conversations with my um gynecologist, and I was like curious, and I'm like, yeah, what do you think about this? And he told me, you know what? Um, yes, I do have a position. And my position is that a mother should do how she feels, because for me, it is somehow better if she smokes one or two cigarettes than if she's very nervous and uh very icky, and uh, this amount of stress would hurt more to the child than having one cigarette, you know, and we had the same conversation with like wine and things like that. And if he told me, you know what? If you feel like one day having a glass of wine for some reason, uh either because you're very happy or because you're very sad, then have your glass of wine and it's opposed. Uh obviously, I mean, no one is promoting drinking or smoking during pregnancy. It's not something good to do. It's just, I think we should all know ourselves and uh a kind of be with okay with ourselves because nothing is worse though for the child than having a very stressed model and unhappiness.

Julia: 28:14

I like, I think you're I like that a lot, and I think that's a really important messaging because there's like so much about black and white, like this is positive, this is negative, this is natural, this is too medicalized, this is following the rules, and this is not following the rules. And I mean, rules is your life, right? So if you're talking about like nuance and that life is in the grow actually most of the time and we all have our own agency, right? Like we all have a whole life of experience behind us. And I I really like how you bring that up. I think that we sometimes forget that, especially in pregnancy, because we need awful. Mothers only want to do what is best for their baby, right? But that can be a very black and white way of thinking like this is the best, and then this is awful, right? It's but it's often it's it's very rarely is it so clear what the number one best thing is when you see it really plainly written on paper. Yes. Yes.

Kristina: 29:11

And also, I mean, I also feel like we are very pressured uh from because of my work again. I'm uh I'm quite often on social networks because sometimes I either give advices or sometimes for the publicity as well and things like that. And I see people being so radical, almost like uh ready to kill another person because, in their opinion, they do something wrong. And I really want like all models to know that first of all, like in the social media and internet, there is a lot of good, but also a lot of bad things and um a lot of things that are unconfirmed. And again, in my opinion, for the good pregnancy, it's not about advice, it's about knowing. Yourself, making sure you are in confidence with the gynecologists and other medical services that you need around you during this uh term of pregnancy and the birth, be in confidence with them and uh make sure that it's a good person for you. Uh if it's not, then change. Don't be scared to change. But uh don't try to like have arguments with you. This like if you're having arguments with your doctor, that means that this doctor is not good for you. It doesn't mean that it's a bad doctor. It just means that it's not for you, you know. But what is important is to be with very little amount of people around you, maybe like your husband and your family, four family, uh, the medical team, and go with the flow. And if you have questions, ask your doctor. Don't go and look for other advice. Again, I've never seen any birth that was the same. I've never seen any pregnancy that was the same. Uh, and there are so many factors that would influence from their health, from emotional uh situation, from sometimes also financial situation. Uh, also from uh uh whatever, where you live, what language you speak, what are your traditions, what are your family, etc., etc. And I I already find it's quite hard to manage and have the same opinion between the family members, your husband and yourself, you know, that adding any other third uh party advisors into it will not lead to a good thing, right? So just to me, that's what uh I've I've said very well. People who are asking me, like, oh, are you planning to breastfit? Or are you planning to have a natural birth? And I'm like, I'm planning fate, you know, but the things will go as they should. And I'm okay. I'm okay if I will have to have a cesarean, I'm okay if I'm not able to breastfit. Basically, that's my life, my child. Uh well, it also concerns my husband, but that's how far it concerns people. Uh, and I was very clear, like, yeah, I mean, it's just I don't have a plan, basically. I I have my wishes, but the plan uh I will let you know once I give birth how it went, you know. But before that, I will not making any movies, you know, in your head, like, oh, I'm gonna go in and that's how it's gonna go. Uh, and uh, this is going to be perfect or not, etc. etc. Just for me, it was important that I would be safe and my child would be safe.

Christine: 32:39

Yeah. And like you say, when you make your decisions, you have to know it fits for you, for your family, and then find a caregiver, a provider that that matches with that, and don't spend a whole lot of energy trying to argue with them. And yeah, that you can change, that's a good point as well. If if it's not a good match, then you can change. Exactly. Not gonna be able to please everyone and not, yeah.

Kristina: 33:04

Exactly. That's very important. And so, yeah, coming to this uh breastfitting thing. Uh, so when my daughter was born, she was obviously put on me and she found my booby right away. And this girl was like full on, like uh uh she knew she's going to be breastfitted, that's for sure. Uh, but I was in like so much. Literally, it was worse than giving a birth. Because she was so strong, so she was just like putting her her whole mouth and like shivering, basically. Like, I don't know what she was doing, but it was like horrible. And basically the first day I was like, okay, maybe I can do it, uh, and everything. And then on the second day, I I had like already bleeding going on, and like having like you it was something different that I imagined for sure. And then once this meat wife who was a woman, right? Who came in and I told her, Listen, you know what? Um, here we go. Like, um, I don't think it's this thing is for me. I have a lot of pain, and uh I don't think I want to do it. Uh and she looked at me and she called me like, yeah, how do you do it to be easier? And then I had uh like a 10-minute monologue from her of how bad my decision was uh for the child, for his immune system, and how this is going to be uh the the worst decision I've made in my life, and that uh I cannot just like um I kind of like uh fold myself and uh uh try it uh and uh the pain will go away basically. In a couple of weeks, it's going to be better, and then like I don't have the full of weeks.

Julia: 35:06

That is wild to say to to just launch into like full-on shame instead of saying, let's let's let's investigate. Like, there's so many reasons why it would be that painful early on, and she should know as a professional. Launching into shame is it's never the answer. That's outrageous.

Kristina: 35:28

And I was lying in this back with my daughter in my arms, and I was like, you know what? And I told the only thing I I was fine, uh words I felt, I was like, can you just leave and not come back?

Julia: 35:48

That is really good that you you to find that moment of like uh of just sticking up for yourself. It's still very vulnerable in those first few days postpartum, and to be able to that that is the words you found. I'm like amazed. Like, yes, I do leave.

Kristina: 36:08

Before it's gonna get the proportion we don't want it to be yet, just you know, just go. Just go. I don't come back. And I was very lucky because it was like two hours before the shift changes, and then two hours later, basically the shift changes, and then there is this midwife man who comes into the room, and he he comes in and he says, Hello, I'm the midwife, na na na. Um, for the next 12 hours I will be here if you have any questions or whatever. I'm like, you know what? I do have a question. Uh so I showed him basically my boobs. I was like, listen, um, I wrote it in my birth plan. I I think your colleague was not sure, or maybe he has a very different point of view, but that's my wish. I don't think I can do it. And look at my boobs basically, like uh for another day, and I'm gonna die. Uh, and I think that's not a good choice for my baby. This is still in the hospital, right? Like day two or still in the hospital, day two, yes. And he looks at me, uh, he tells me, like, oh, I definitely understood. I I I've read your your birth plan, um, I see what you mean. But let me propose you uh an alternative. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take the baby for four or five hours, I will bring you the cream, and then I will bring you uh textile. Basically, it's like um, I'm not sure in English how it's called, but it's a kind of like something you put uh on the bull um plastic uh or silicone, I guess, that they can uh use. Well, the baby can breastfeed, but it's a kind of like a shield, yeah. Nipple shield, nipple shield. Nipple shield, exactly. And he tells me I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna bring you this uh silicone nipple shield. Uh, and then once you have some poles, you will try it with this. And if it's still not working, uh, we'll stop then and we'll switch to the formula. And I was like, okay, fine, let's uh I'm open to advice. So let's go and try it. So he basically took away my daughter. Uh, I was able to sleep, I put a lot of cream on it. Uh, I re-powered myself. Uh, and about like four hours or five hours later, he brought her back saying, like, now she wants to eat, let's try it. So he showed me how to use the shield, and uh uh Nina, so my daughter, started to eat. And actually, at that point, I didn't feel any pain anymore. And I was, and that's the first time it was such a pleasure to breastfeed. And now that I guess it's also because there were more milk as well coming in, uh, and it was easier for her, but she my daughter did it was okay with her as well with the breast shields. Uh, so she was uh quite well eating, and for me it was such a pleasure, and like really up until now, it's three years later, right? I remember this man's face and like what he did for me, because after that, I've been I'm I was breastfeeding my daughter till she was two years and three months. Uh, and uh it's actually for him because I I believe that if he wouldn't come as this angel two hours after I listened to the horrible mom I was. Sorry, I think I would not be able to breastfeed uh uh that long.

Christine: 39:36

And that he was able to just take off the pressure and no judgment to just say, let's try this.

Kristina: 39:42

And if it doesn't work, we'll do something else, you know, rather than because I'm sure the first midwife would have had some great tips as well, but coming right in with the judgment is just I I think again, as it this black and white, and I believe that that in this profession specifically, I think people have to be very tolerant to things because I guess they see a lot of things, and they can. I mean, the and midwife is a person, right? She's allowed to have her own opinion, and with her children, she can do however she feels it, but then your own opinion is very different from the patient's opinion. And in any case, I don't think, yeah, like this not emotionally uh care environment, it's very important for those moms who give birth. And I mean, for me, it was okay because I'm I have quite a strong personality and I'm hyperactive and I deserve this, you know. Like I've I'd heard much worse about myself. So I know exactly how to block out and be like, okay, whatever, that's your opinion, and just go away and that's it. Uh but a lot of mothers don't know or they have a very different character or very different emotional state. And literally, I think like if it would be a mother not in a very good emotional state or not knowing how to block this bad energy, uh, I mean, it would have ended up very badly.

Julia: 41:11

Yeah, absolutely. And that's that's the start of a spiral of an emotional state when you're so vulnerable that can be very difficult to get out of. You're totally right to bring that up. Julia here, it's my mission over a happy day to mentor and support you in creating a pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience that is empowering, holistic, and uniquely tailored to your needs. Together, we'll uncover the tools and knowledge you need to thrive, with confidence, mindfulness, and self-compassion at the core of your journey. That's the reason why I offer my three Hallmark courses to parents in person in the Doric area and online. They are Hypnobirthing Plus, Mindful Postpartum Preparation, and Hypnobirthing for Plants of Arian Birth. Check out my website, happydayhypnobirthing. For more details, useful content, and support. Now, on to this week's with birth story. This uh this male midwife, I I love how he he so we have like a multi-pronged approach, right? He was like, this mommy's to sleep. She's very close to her full mature milk coming in. Baby's obviously been on the breast a lot, so it's not like he's not, you know, doing that. And he made that judgment. And then also we have this help of this nipple field, and it just we just, I mean, you never know, right? The story could have been like a little bit longer, like in such a short amount of time. He just seems to have made a really great call for you and also put you at ease and let you know. And then if this doesn't work, we're good. I will support you as well in formula feeding your baby. And he just sounds, he sounds really wonderful. So yeah, I'm happy he was there too for you.

Kristina: 43:21

Exactly. I'm I'm very, very happy.

Julia: 43:25

When you were staying in the hospital, was your mom staying with you? Was your partner staying with you, or did they go back home? Yes.

Kristina: 43:32

Uh no, my partner was staying with me at night, but then he was working during the day, and during the day it's my mom who was coming. And then we had like on the second night or third night before going out, we had this Lesoux offers you like a dinner in their restaurant. So my mom came in, uh, she was staying with the baby in the room, and then me and my husband we went down to have this romantic dinner. And then, yeah, basically, I stayed, I think, three days, and then on the fourth day we got out. We got all the checks done. Uh, the baby was seen by a paediator again, and then we came out of the hospital.

Christine: 44:13

And how was how was the transition to going home and being at home with a new baby?

Kristina: 44:18

And uh baby was not a surprise for me again. Like when I started my business, I was working a lot in the baby group. Obviously, it's different when it's your baby, right? But for me, somehow it was easier because when I was working with babies that are not mine, this level of responsibility, you know, if something goes wrong and it's not yours, is much higher. Uh, somehow, I mean, even though I care a lot about my baby, obviously, but that's my baby, and that's my responsibility. You know, I'm not responsible for someone else's baby. Um, so in that I was quite uh reinsured for the rest, really, in the hospital, they showed us like how to take a bath and all those things. Uh, so that was uh perfectly fine. Uh we were lucky a bit in that sense because during the COVID, right, my husband had a lot of homo. And then I had my mom as well who came in just on time. Um, and uh yeah, they were helping me a lot. Uh it was great to have an extra pair of hands of my mom to do stuff, but then I mean I'm an entrepreneur, right? Uh, and we do not have paternity really. And I mean, I wouldn't be able to just walk out for three months uh with my baby. And uh so basically on the seventh day I went back to work. I I I I it wasn't that bad, right? Because I mean the advantage of being an entrepreneur is that I was able to plan my own days, right? And I was also, due to the type of business I had, I was able to bring my baby with me everywhere, basically. So, what was happening is that was planned a bit that I can still have control and visit the daycares. Um, also, we had uh a big surprise, uh uh as my husband says, basically, when I was three weeks pregnant, right, I didn't tell anyone. But I went to my director and I told her, like, oh, I need a daycare place, right? My own daycare, but I didn't tell it it was for me. Uh I said it's for a friend, right? And uh basically I was only three weeks pregnant, so it was like September, and I wanted to have a place like straight after the maternity leave officially, so in September next year, right? When the daily will be four months, and I'm like, so in September, like I full time, so one year away, right? And um should be all good. And she looks at me and she goes, like, oh, I don't have a space in September next year, and like, okay, uh, when do you have a space? And she's like, January, so 18 months later, and then January I can book two days and a half. I was like, okay, but then book already two days and a half in January. I was like, I don't know what's going to happen. And then I remember going back and I go like to my husband, like, we don't have a daycare space. The girl was daycare playing with the daycare, but they don't have this problem. We took out this problem, right? So I was like, okay, never mind. Uh, and I think when I was uh three months later, when everyone knew, and I obviously announced to my team and everything, I was like, there is a problem, you know, guys. I mean, how am I gonna work and everything? So, I mean, I was fully supported because like all my directors, they were like, no problem, we'll figure it out. The kids are sometimes sick and like go to vacations and everything. So, what was happening is that they would be sending me every morning different locations saying, like, just in case in Geneva we'd have a space. So, I would plan my week according to the spaces available so that I can go in, get the baby to the daycare for like three, four hours before she would need a breastfeeding um I guess, work very concentrated during three or four hours, and take the baby back, breastfeed, and go back home. And that was my life for about uh yeah, seven months like this. Uh, also, it was very fun because um my daughter never accepted no formula, not even a bottle. So, like she would not like we've tried, I think I've I did the the the world tour with all the uh milk bottles from uh Japanese brands, Korean brands, what like all the brands. I don't think we didn't have a bottle uh from like a brand I don't know. So we we had them all, and all of them were refused. Oh man. Then then we did the formula, the same thing, uh even like other one from Japan, whatever, because I was so like uh desperate, but nothing would work. Uh the only formula she got she she accepted once was the uh goat uh milk formula, whatever, which she threw up two hours later completely. I was like, okay, just how it's gonna go. And then again, thanks to my amazing team here in uh in TTL where my daughter started to go in January. I was like, okay, well, well, what are we gonna do? Because uh, I mean, I cannot just go every four or six uh hours. Like, I mean, I wouldn't be able to work like that. And I also need to go to different cantons. What are we gonna do? And they told me, like, no problem, we'll try everything, like the spoon, the cup, whatever. And if it doesn't work, we can sent it with my pediator. And he said, Listen, like really quite complicated situation. But what you can do, she's already was seven months, she was already diversified a bit with like some fruits and uh veggies, and he told me, just use the yogurt, natural yogurt instead of milk. If she accepts it, that would be the solution. So the girls tried like multiple things before actually choosing the solution of yogurt, but yogurt were worked perfectly fine. So, in a month, we were able, like she was able to do full days without breast a day, um, with the yogurt and other food, but no milk. But obviously, that brought to the compensation in the mornings and in the evenings, and obviously at night, yeah. So she would do full day without the breast, and then I would have great night. So, also my dream about her sleeping in her own room and how amazing that is. So, for the first three months, it worked very well because the the third day we came back home, we put her in her bat, and then she was waking up like maybe twice a night, which was okay. I had a comfortable chair and I was going, and then she started to wake up like six times per night. So I said to my husband, is this is not gonna work? Yes, okay, okay, but and my husband, I don't know if it's all husband's mold that is like that, uh, but I hear a lot that majority of them are like that. He doesn't hear anything, so he ain't not a problem at all. Uh he can like I don't even know how because she was quite also loud eater, you know. She would be like, Yes, and even some people were telling me, like, but just sleep because she's just next to you, so she just like give her and sleep. I'm like, I cannot sleep with that. My husband is like sleeping and it is bad, you know, all next to me. And in the morning, he would be like wake up.

Julia: 52:20

You and your useless nipples, you know nothing.

Kristina: 52:35

Conversation is over, and it was yeah, uh basically so uh um, but it also maybe was like really bad for two or three months while she adjusted to this whole new uh world, uh and then it went back to normal. She would be waking up like once or twice a night, yeah, so she was two years and three months, and then at some point, uh I mean it also became I'm I'm very open to like breastfeeding in public spaces and everything. Switzerland is not though, I was kicked out of a shopper for breastfeeding. Uh the the the salesperson asked me to leave because it was not uh and like literally I was first of all, I was planning to buy something, which I did not. But in Switzerland, and second, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that and second of all, uh, I mean, I was always very like uh for the breastfeeding, I had special clothes, and uh uh I get my my my daughter see the bird knew how very well how to do it, you know. So she like you wouldn't even see actually that she was breastfeeded, like until you really try to walk around me and see what is she doing, you would get the impression that she's a sweet. Yeah, so I mean I I wouldn't like I didn't do it like in any way, like openly, publicly, like having my uh whole boob clean or whatever shop naked, even though I mean it there are women quite comfortable with this, uh go ahead. But I was doing it actually quite in a reserved way, but I was doing it everywhere, like this. I would be in the restaurant, I would do it. I mean, uh whatever she needed, uh I didn't see it as a problem. Then yeah, those ones kicked out of a shop, and she told me like it may uh it may be disturbing for other clients. I'm like, maybe you should keep the model, you know.

Julia: 54:34

Yeah, they're that's so weird. If they're disturbed by it, isn't that so weird of them?

Kristina: 54:39

Like, I I don't know. I mean, I don't see anything weird about that. Uh, but that's true that when she became like two years, I mean, the moment she knew how to use the zippers and buttons and all of that, that's actually in public spaces became a bit less uncomfortable uh comfortable for me because she would just not ask anymore, you know, she would just like run and come and like boom, bam, open everything, and then there is like boogie, you know? And I was like, okay, maybe this can be quite uh, and again, not about other people, but I started not to feel very comfortable with uh with this. And obviously, like it's been two years that I was not sleeping uh full night. Uh, and at this point, it became a bit uh tiring. And then we have the street cop because we've tried again everything. I've tried for and she would like to stay with my mom, uh, with my husband, full day, no problem. She wouldn't even ask for it. Uh, she would eat and everything, but then the moment she would see me, and it was like I tried to like cover myself and say there is nothing anymore, and na na na na nothing works again with like I think here I've I've been reading some books and then and I bought her books and we were reading them together, and she would be like, yes, yes, like like she would understand like what I'm reading to and showing her pictures, and then like unfold the book, and she would be like, boom, boomie. This is not working, and we have the treat coming up for a wedding of friends, uh, of our friends in Iceland, and we have to read five days. So we did it this way, you know. My mom KA I went into the last five days, too, but I have still quite a lot of mute. Um and then after five days when I came back, uh she touched it and she told me like, Oh, there is nothing anymore. I said, Yeah, there is nothing anymore, and she's like, Okay.

Julia: 56:45

Wow. Well, she understood in that moment, I guess. She's like, I survived five days.

Kristina: 56:52

It's all good. But she's still sleeping with us, and she's still putting her hand on my boobie. Uh, and that's how she falls at least. She has a very simple thing with her. Yeah. And now we're planning to put her in her bed, but it's uh very complicated, and uh kids know how to manipulate. Specifically, when they tell we tell her to go to her bed, she still comes back to us. And then when my mom is there, obviously she wants to sleep with her. So, yeah, in this scenario, we're not uh like exemplary uh family, you know. So she's like swears she wants to sleep.

Julia: 57:36

Oh, I disagree. I think I think it's I think it's really great to have these stories because it's actually what you're speaking of is it's very normal and it can be very abstract and really hard to imagine, sort of before you have kids that this is this is sort of the situation that would arise. But then when you're in it, you're like, this actually kind of works for us. And I know it's not really what I wanted, and maybe what other people might not want, but it it works for us, and I think it's uh it happens to a lot of parents actually.

Kristina: 58:04

Yeah. From from experiences and everything. I lost my dad when I was very young, five years old, and I used to sleep with my mom till I think I was a teenager, you know, because I was afraid of dark and all this uh stuff. So for me, it was not a problem, and then for my cousin, it's not a problem at all because she doesn't really matter, you know. She sleeps like uh an elephant, you know, he doesn't care. Uh, and you he doesn't even know, you know, sometimes she would come and share that, so yeah. So we're doing I again for me, I'm just going. Um, I I cannot even name like very stressful moments during this pregnancy or uh birth or after birth, postpartum and everything, but because actually, like again, my secret was this I didn't plan anything, I just like said to myself, this is how it's gonna go. I mean, it's obviously quite complicated not to sleep for two years uh and three months, of course. Uh then like I found solutions and I did more meditations. Of course, again, it's it's important to say because like people would say, like, oh uh, maybe like if I don't sleep one day, uh one night, it's really like attacks my day, which I understand. Uh it's also different. That's why I'm saying it's very important to know yourself. For me, since I'm hyperactive and I don't need a lot of sleep, and luckily I can go, I can go awake and back to sleep very quickly. Um, that was okay. And I could have managed it like that. But for sure, for example, if I would be the person who uh would not be able to maintain it, I would be looking for different solutions. But I feel like sometimes mothers are pressed to find solutions where there is No problem initially. Because they're comfortable like that. And I was comfortable like that. And then I was listening a lot to like some people telling me, like, oh, and your husband, he doesn't wake up at night. That's not normal. And I'm like, what do you define as normal? My husband as myself through works at 100%. But exactly that. My husband has a like, he's this kind of a person. If he doesn't sleep at night, first of all, he cannot go back to sleep. And second of all, the next day he's useless. So I was like, I'm breastfeeding. He doesn't accept the bottle. That's the fact. So what is it for me to wake him up? He cannot do anything in any case. And I mean, of course, when she was being sick or things like that, he would obviously wake up, and once or two times he had this false swoop uh when like a child cannot breathe very well, and we had to like wake up and go to the hospital quickly. And he did all of that, but then on a regular basis, like, what do you want me like just to tell him like wake up just to wake up? I mean, that's for me personally, doesn't make a lot of sense. Uh, if not to say no sense at all.

Christine: 1:01:17

Yeah, and your rhythm adapts. I mean, especially if you're breastfeeding, you you adapt.

Kristina: 1:01:23

Yeah, I mean, it's so easy, but somehow people are like, Yes, we are gonna do 50-50 with my husband. And I'm like, how do you call like, how do you know? Like, you're you're like six months pregnant, you know, you you don't even know what if you're in the situation that the baby doesn't want your husband's uh bottle of milk.

Christine: 1:01:44

Yeah, that's I love that when people make big plans about uh you know whether the baby will sleep in their own room by which time and how they're gonna divide things up. Yeah, it's it's good to have some ideas, and then it's good, like you say, to be able to kind of go with the flow and adapt to the kind of baby that you've got and the kind of you know what you each need, who's working when.

Kristina: 1:02:06

Exactly. And I also believe that it's like very important, at least for the first year. Uh I was very lucky with that because my husband told me right away. He told me, like, since you're breast today, I'm not making any decisions. You just tell me what you want me to do. Uh, and like for the rest, like I don't have an opinion basically. Do whatever you feel like you need to do. Uh, and then when I can, I I can help, basically. So for quite a lot of a long time, he was just changing diapers. For me, that was like uh something that I was able to easily delegate. I mean, he was like, okay, I will be changing diapers, you know. And also, I mean, I have to say that there are some people who are saying that if the father doesn't give the bottle to the baby, that it somehow influences their relationship or whatever. That is touching that. I mean, she has of course for the first two years, she was very close to me in terms of like um touching uh certainly because obviously she was breastfeeded, so uh, I mean, uh it's kind of logical, right? Now she is like three and she like loves her dad, she wants to do the activities with her dad, and sometimes she tells him, like, mama, go away, you know, like mommy dear, uh I'm I'm with my dad, and they have this I hate biting, my my husband likes biting, and they bite together. Like, she people turn her uh bike on the back and she just loves it, and she knows it's like only like her and her dad's activity and things. I mean, and it's just amazing. So it doesn't really is for it, whatever, you know, bottle, no bottle, breastfitting, no breastfitting.

Julia: 1:03:54

I am I when I'm listening to like your what you're saying here, I'm hearing so much how you're able to respond to the like you're responding to the needs of your daughter, not sort of seeing her as this like blank slate that you can say, Well, now you're gonna sleep and now you're gonna do this, and you're gonna have this equal relationship with your father from the very beginning. No, like you are you're really responding to her. And I think when we're overloaded with too much information, sometimes it can block us from seeing the person that we have in front of us, like your daughter, you know, and you're able to then when you're able to see this person and they're little people in front of you, you're able to then respond and provide, provide for them in the way that is best for you and for your family. So I really, I really like, really enjoyed this conversation of just looking at the time, and we're sort of nearing the end of our time. So unfortunately. Um I uh we have one more question for you though before we sign off. And it's this question we ask everyone. Um, and it's throughout this whole experience becoming a mother, what has been your most brilliant moment?

Kristina: 1:05:05

Oh, there were so many moments which were brilliant. Uh but no, I guess like nothing can compare to the first second of seeing your child on your on your chest. I think this this for me, uh like we had a photo, but uh the memory, you know, all other brilliant moments sometimes, you know, they fade away kind of like after three years. Like maybe I don't remember everything that happened to her when she was one month, two months, three months, um etc. But this moment, I definitely like if I close my eyes, I can like really see the whole picture. Where was my husband, where was the doctor, who was there, uh, etc. And like her on my uh on my chat. Yeah, I think that's uh that's the key thing.

Christine: 1:05:57

That is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing for sharing your story.

Kristina: 1:06:01

Thank you. Thank you. It was a very uh pleasure to meet you, and uh yeah, and I'm listening to the podcast, and it's very interesting. Excellent, excellent.

Christine: 1:06:13

So much.

Julia: 1:06:19

Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Swiss Birth Stories. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an inspiring birth story or expert insight. Your support means the world to us and helps this community grow. So please also take a moment to rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more parents to be. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend or loved one who could benefit from it. And be sure to follow us on social media at SwissBirth Stories for even more tips, resources, and updates on upcoming podcast guests, courses, and events. We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, and birth stories too. So feel free to DM us, fill out the form on our website, SwissBirthstories.com, or tag us in your posts. Until next time, keep sharing, keep learning, and keep connecting with each other.