Swiss Birth Stories

S01E13 Clare: Empowered Hospital Birth Without Pain Relief. Long Labour, Deep Sibling Bonds, Embracing Your Own Way

• Julia and Christine • Season 1 • Episode 13

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Clare's resources are below, after this description. 

Clare shares her story of giving birth to her second child in Switzerland after moving from the UK, highlighting the differences between birth systems and the beauty of sibling relationships. Her marathon 67-hour labor culminated in a water birth at Hôpital de Morges after her initial birthing center plans changed.

• Moved to Switzerland 20 years ago with husband and 7-week-old son Max, who is now in his final year of apprenticeship 
• Planned for a birth center birth with her second child (born in 2010). She doesn't look back on her first birth negativley, just desired more control and autonomy in her second birth experience. 
• Hired a doula for language support and advocacy in the Swiss healthcare system, which was less common then. 
• Labored at home for nearly two days before transferring to the hospital
• Complete pause in contractions after decision to transfer to hospital, augmentation of labour (synthetic oxytocin after this pause in labour)
• Clare gives birth to her daughter in water- even after such a long labour and with augmentaion
• Co-sleeping encouraged by the progressive hospital approach
• Son Max's touching gesture of offering his prized Scooby-Doo Croc to his newborn sister
• Breastfed first child for 9 months but second for over 3 years
• Found valuable postpartum support through midwife visits and community centers 

If you enjoyed this story, please subscribe to our podcast and share it with friends who might benefit from hearing these birth experiences.

Visit and learn about Clare's craft space: https://www.thecrafthouse.ch/ where she organizes lessons, camps, and projects for kids, as well as retreats and lessons for adults. 


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Speaker 1:

Hi, welcome to Swiss Birth Stories. I'm Julia Neal, mother, perinatal educator, hypnobirthing coach and trainee doula.

Speaker 2:

And I'm Christina Bliven. I'm a doula, baby-wearing consultant, childbirth educator and mother of three.

Speaker 1:

Hi everyone. It's Julia here, and before we get to the intro for this week's episode, which is amazing, I just wanted to pop on to let you know that we will be taking a few weeks break over the summer. This is because Christina and I both look after our children all summer and it's just a lot to be releasing episodes while we are full-time with our families. So once the summer vacation from school is over, we will be returning sort of late August or early September. We have a whole season, season two, recorded for you guys, and it is. It is amazing. I am so excited to get to share with you those episodes. Now is a perfect time for you to hit the subscribe button, for you to tell your friends who are also maybe expecting or otherwise into birth stories to be subscribing, so that you are the first to be notified and that you do know when we return for season two. And we'd also love to take this time just now to extend a huge thank you for everyone who supported us in this amazing endeavor. We've been really grateful for all of the feedback and encouragement that we've gotten, so thank you. Every follower, every subscriber, every listener lets us know that, yeah, we are definitely on the right path here with this podcast. So thanks, and now we're going to get on to this week's episode.

Speaker 1:

This week's episode is Claire. Claire tells us of the story of giving birth to her second child here in Switzerland. This birth was planned to be in a birth center, but, after a very long early labor phase at home, she gave birth in Hôpital de Morge in Morgevaux. In this story, claire takes us through her 67-hour-long labor yes, you heard that right having a really great doula when that was less common than it is now. The relationship between her children and, of course, so much more. I get quite teary as we talk about her most brilliant moment. So stick around till the end to hear that. All right, everyone enjoy. Hi Claire. Welcome to Swiss Birth Stories. We are so happy to see you here. Before we begin, could you tell us a little bit about you and your family?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, Hi everyone, thanks for having me. I'm Claire. We moved to Switzerland 20 years ago. We moved this is my husband and I, but we had a seven week old baby. We moved with Max and we've lived. We lived in Lausanne for a while, for about seven years, and now we live in Palazzo, and Vianne joined us in 2010. So she's now almost 15. Max is almost 21. Um, we came with my husband's job. I homeschooled the kids, um, until, well, max went to school in the final year of compulsory schooling. Vianne went in fifth year because we didn't quite um, you know, gel me and her. When it comes, we're very similar. So, um, and so she's. She's now in her final year of obligatory schooling. So, um, and once I finished homeschooling the kids, um, I then, in 2021, started the craft house, where I teach sewing and craft to kids and adults and do camps at the weekend, during the holidays and weekends and stuff like that.

Speaker 3:

So uh yeah, so the four of us have been here and we're now Swiss as well. We've been Swiss for several years. Thanks, claire.

Speaker 2:

Do you want to start just by telling us about how the kind of beginnings of your family came about? How did you decide you wanted to start a family and and how that how the pregnancy went?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So we actually got together when we were teenagers. We were 19. We met at university. We got married once we'd finished university I was 24. He was 24.

Speaker 3:

And then we just took our time really in know, starting a family. I was 29, which I was surprised to hear at the time, was like the average age for a woman to have their first child. I thought it felt quite late at the time and it was just sort of, I suppose, to complete our family really and we'd always talked about I mean, we talked about having many children, even from very um when we first got together. So Max came along and then in 2004, and then we took our time again with Vianne. It was just more a case of um well, hoping that it was the right time, finding the right time, which I guess you can say it's never a right time. So I got pregnant with her and she was born in 2010.

Speaker 3:

So we've got almost six years between them, which actually I really love, because I just remember when I was pregnant with Vianne, we never found out the sex of our children beforehand. When I was pregnant with Vianne, we never found out the sex of our children beforehand. When I was pregnant with Vianne, max said to me so he was five at the time he said Mummy, I'm not going to change nappies. He said, I'm just going to make my new brother or sister laugh. That's my job. And he has. And they've been really really good friends and it's really nice to see them together. Even though there is a big gap, they they really just get on so well together and it just fills my heart with joy to see them together. Lots of love between them so oh, that's gorgeous.

Speaker 1:

Like just I could imagine a little five-year-old saying we're gonna be friends and they are yeah, he also did a sort of no one's gonna hurt my when she was born.

Speaker 3:

He's no one's gonna hurt my sister. So he did the whole protective thing as well. But yeah, he was determined that he was gonna make that was his job to make his sibling laugh.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, it was very. How were your pregnancies, how did you feel in them?

Speaker 3:

um, I was, I feel, very fortunate that I had, um, virtually no morning sickness, um, with either of them I was very tired, but I I did actually enjoy being pregnant. That was, I don't know it, just I felt well, yeah, I didn't really have very many problems, I just I just, yeah, tiredness was the biggest thing. But I was really lucky with with Max, in that my husband had just got a new job and so I was between jobs at the time and so I had lots of time to sort of um to relax and to rest and um, actually my husband had already started working in Switzerland, so he was traveling over to Switzerland during the week, so I was on my own and it was actually it was okay because it meant that I just had to worry about me. I didn't have to worry about anybody else in the house or anything.

Speaker 3:

So, um, and then with Vianne, I think as well, because Max was just a little bit older it meant that I, that he, he was very comfortable, sort of playing by himself, allowing mama to have a bit of a rest, and you know stuff like that. So, um, I, I think having waited a bit longer actually worked in my favor because obviously he was at home all the time. He went to a gallery, um, like a kindergarten, one morning a week, but, um yeah, he was at home all the time otherwise. So it was nice to have being him. Being a little bit older, you know, I had time to just to look after myself how did you, how did labor start?

Speaker 2:

how did you know something was happening, was brewing?

Speaker 3:

With Vianne. So my waters actually broke and it wasn't that sort of traditional gush that you see in films, it was a nice little trickle. I was kind of like is this my waters? Is this not? Because I hadn't really my waters hadn't properly broken with Max, so I hadn't had that feeling before, um and so.

Speaker 3:

So that happened at 7 pm on a Wednesday evening and, um, we'd organized because one of the things obviously being in a country where you don't have family around um and you have a child already figuring out what you're going to do with this child while you're in labor and stuff so we were, we were lucky that we had two really great friends who, um, he basically spent time going between both those those households and he was friends with their kids as well. So we basically phoned them up and said I think things are happening, and one of them was on his way home from work. So he picked Max up on the way and, to be honest, I didn't really over the next few days I hate to say it, but I didn't really obviously I didn't really think about him very much because I knew that he was safe with these, you know, with my friends and um, and he was probably having a whale of a time, you know so. And not long after my waters broke, the contractions started.

Speaker 3:

For Vianne, we had decided to have a doula. The biggest reason, really, was that my husband speaks German and English. I speak French and English, but so I felt like, if I was in the middle of labour and wanted to say something to the midwife or whoever was there, I needed somebody who could act on my behalf. And with my husband's French not being great, we decided that a doula was the right way to go. So we had a wonderful doula, monica, who is still a really good friend now. She's American, uh, but she's she speaks french fluently.

Speaker 3:

So we called her no, she only does very special occasions for close family and friends. She's now taking to be a teacher, so, um, yeah, so we called her and she came over and we had actually decided as well for Vivian, that I didn't want to give birth in a hospital. It wasn't that my experience with Max was bad, I just felt that I wanted to, sort of I supposed to have more control over what was going on and I felt that, particularly with the system, the Swiss system, in terms of you know, in the UK you automatically get a midwife, there's a huge team of midwives, whether it's at the hospital or for a home birth or whoever, uh, whatever, and um, whereas here midwives aren't quite so, it feels like they're not quite so prevalent and, and it seems much more hospital doctor, that kind of thing. And also, as well, I had, um, when I saw my gynecologist or obstetrician and I mentioned that I wanted to employ or use a midwife, he, he was very um, uh, what's the word? He was very well rude, um, and basically said um, you're going to give birth at home, you're going to kill your baby, don't call me when things go wrong. And I remember just sitting there, just going, uh, what? From that moment on I decided I wasn't going back to him, um, because I just couldn't have somebody who wasn't on my side.

Speaker 3:

So we looked into a birthing center near Morge, a place called Lully um, and we found a lovely midwife there, um, and so once I'd gone into labor, so the plan was that I would give birth in the birthing center, um, once I started my contractions, we called the doula, we called the midwife. Midwife came, she, um um, examined me and she said, because my waters had broken, we would have to keep an eye on, you know, signs of infection, that kind of thing. So my contractions were quite strong and my husband being a, a techie nerd, um used you knowwatch, excel spreadsheet, that kind of thing to mark down how long each one was, how far apart they were, all that kind of stuff. And what was great as well about the doula is that she'd done a lot of work with this beforehand. So she taught my husband good massage techniques for me, um, so that he could be very much um a part of it as well. In actual fact, we used to joke that she was more there to manage him than she was there to help me. Really, so he would be. We had a um, a yoga ball, and he would be massaging my back and things like that, Because my first birth had been a back-to-back birth, so it was quite painful.

Speaker 3:

So it's just hoping that that wasn't going to be the case this time, which it wasn't. And then so the midwife because things were progressing very slowly, the midwife would come and go. She wasn't there all the time. She came every few hours to test me to check for infection and thankfully I didn't have any kind of infection with my waters breaking and we just basically kind of well, we stayed at home until so this my waters broke Wednesday evening. We stayed at home until about five o'clock on Friday morning, till about five o'clock on Friday morning, and the same thing happened with Vianne as what happened with Max, in that I didn't dilate very quickly at all. It's like my body kind of it contracts, but it doesn't do very much contract but it doesn't do very much. So I was having all these really strong, really close together contractions and I'd get to like sort of five, six centimeters.

Speaker 2:

Hi, I'm Christina, a doula, baby wearing consultant, childbirth educator and mother of three. I'm the owner of Lilybee, a family hub in Zurich where you can find resources, community and support in English as you begin your journey into parenthood. It takes a village. Find yours here.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, oh my gosh, this is like a riveting story. I am on the edge of my seat. Awesome, oh my gosh, this is like a riveting story. I am on the edge of my seat, um, okay. So, um, I want you to go back to the sort of when you're at the five centimeter mark and what your body is doing at that time. But I am also very curious about how you're managing the fact that you have not slept already at this point. So this is Friday, yeah. Um, how you're managing the fact that you have not slept already at this point. So this is Friday, yeah. How you're managing your exhaustion and how you're feeling that in your, in yourself.

Speaker 3:

I'm quite so. I was five centimeters, because my body just doesn't do. It doesn't seem to sort of progress. My contractions aren't. I would say they're not very, they don't achieve much. And yeah, by this time I was basically been awake I guess two nights. I sort of caught the odd moment of sleep for sort of 20 minutes if I had a sort of lulling in in contractions, um, and then the doula of Monica and my husband and um, they kind of took it in turns to sleep too. Um, for me it was. I'm actually not a great sleeper anyway, so I can go quite a long time without sleep. It's one of the benefits of insomnia, particularly for the small child, but also children's labor, I think. So it was just. It was just really a case of just trying to relax in between contractions. Just that was the great thing about having two people there as well was that you know they both could look after me. Um, if I needed anything they were there. Um, I could just not worry about anything else going on around me apart from um just looking after myself. So, yeah, I mean I got to.

Speaker 3:

I got to about 5 am, 4 or 5 am on the Friday morning and I really didn't want to go into the hospital. Um, like I say, it wasn't a really bad experience, but it was just. I had some you know, sort of in my head that. But by the time I got to that time on a Friday morning, I was just like I have to do something because I'm just so tired. Now the midwife was, she was still happy for me to continue at home, but she said that you know, I'd been contracting for so long and I was so tired, um, that maybe we needed to think about doing something else. And so I. I then had a moment when I just went, I think I should go to the hospital, um, and it was very strange because it was almost like from the moment I made that decision vision, my contractions slowed down and then they stopped. So, um, we went to the hospital.

Speaker 3:

So, all three of us Monica, ant and me, um, and at the time we had, uh, we didn't have a car, we just had a camper van. So we were in our big camper van, driving at the motorway, uh, to morge, which was, um, we were in lausanne, but, um, because the birthing center was near morge as well, we, that was the best place for for me to go, so, um. So we got there and they settled me in and we had to wait quite a long time, um, for someone to see us because it was, you know, early in the morning. So they settled me into a bed. Monica went home my contractions had completely stopped by this point. Ant went into the car park with a camper van and went to sleep. So, yeah, he had a built-in bedroom, um, and they said well, we'll see how you're doing in the morning. We obviously still check you for infection, um, all that kind of stuff. Um, and I was able to get a little bit of sleep. They said when I, when I woke up'm not really quite sure what time it was Just a few hours later, they said we'll just wait and see, because you have no more contractions now. You're dilated, but you, you know, five centimeters dilated, but you don't have any more contractions. So they said they'd wait, just keep an eye on me. Have any more contractions? So they said they'd wait, just keep an eye on me.

Speaker 3:

Um, one thing that I wasn't that I didn't like was that, um, I was in a room with somebody who had just given birth and she seemed to have the biggest family in the world and they were all yeah, and it was. It was so noisy and I felt like I was just. I was in tears because it was just too much for me. So I phoned Ant. I called him, he was in the camper van in the car park and I said please, please, come and sort this out for me. So he came in and he went to the nurses and he said look, you know, she's trying to get some rest and this is too noisy, um, so they insisted that the, the family, went to the day room and so it was a lot calmer and quieter and everything. So that was that was great.

Speaker 3:

And I basically had the whole of Friday and Friday night with barely any contractions at all. So they said, right, come 8 o'clock Saturday morning we're going to induce you. And this was something that had happened with Max as well. So Max, in total, his labour was 27 hours, which at the time felt long, and after fian was not long at all. Um, but basically the similar thing had happened. I contracted, I got to a certain dilation and then they had to induce me in the um in the hospital in Bath. Um, and um also as well. He, um, he had passed meconium.

Speaker 3:

So when they induced me for his birth, I had absolutely no feeling, uh, with the epidural. And then I had an epidural and then absolutely no feeling in my legs. I couldn't move anywhere or anything. So I was stuck on the bed with Vianne when they induced me. I, because up until that point I a few times had the 10, I had a TENS machine and a few times I'd used that. But yeah, basically I was just yeah, I didn't have anything else. I was aware that in the hospital, like in the UK, you get gas and air. You don't have that here. And so they induced me and things started.

Speaker 3:

I, um they, I have to say, when we arrived at the hospital. So Monica had come back, the doula had come back, um, and the doctor was okay with her being in the room. She asked if it was necessary and I said yes, it's very necessary that she's here, um, and she said, well, you know, she gets in the way, then she'll have to leave. We were all like, yeah, yeah, that's fine, um, and actually so Monica ended up doing things like I wanted um hot compressors on my back.

Speaker 3:

Um, soica went and looked, tried, got those for me, and and she was just finding out. She was our go between, between the doctors and and and us, um, which was really really wonderful because we could just both focus on what was going on in the room. And I started contracting and I asked if I could go into the bath and they were happy for me to do that. So I basically was in the bath. I can't remember what time I went in, so I was induced to eight and then it doesn't feel like very long, but I then felt the need to push, so and they were happy for me to give birth in the bath, which I was really, really pleased did you have an IV at this time?

Speaker 1:

were you getting like intravenous oxytocin for the contractions?

Speaker 3:

yes, I was, yeah, yeah, I was amazed that they allowed me in there, um, but yeah, it was really good, I think, because I wasn't having any other kind of things. They obviously realised that the bath would relieve some of the pain. I mean, that's kind of one of the reasons why you might use the water. Ant didn't get in the bath with me, he was right on the side. I also, I had no problem either being completely naked in the bath. I was just like I don't need any clothes on me. I just, you know, I I'm quite happy just letting it all out. You know, I suppose you get to that point where it doesn't matter anymore, where it doesn't matter anymore. And of course, the doctor had to sort of come in at the last minute to be the one that birthed the baby, kind of thing, in that I had nurses around me and they would have been quite capable of catching her, but the doctor had to be there capable of catching her. But, um, the doctor had to be there. So, um, and they, they put her on my, um, on my chest, and um with, because we hadn't found out the sex of either of our children. I remember, with Max, the midwife had said you know what? You know what are you calling the baby? If it's a boy, max, what are you calling if it's a girl? We said Amelie. And when she passed the baby to me because I ended up in the operating room just as a precaution with Max when she passed me the baby, she said it's a Max, which I thought was just such a lovely thing for her to do. Baby. She said it's a max, which I thought was just such a lovely thing for her to do. Um and with with. Yeah, and I wanted to see myself, and so I tried to have a look and I wasn't really sure I was going and what we got, and we realized we had a girl. So, um, and it was really nice, we were allowed to take our time for a while in the in the bath. Um, then they took Vianna away to be weighed.

Speaker 3:

Um, and it's, it's weird actually, this, that part of her birth story is the bit that I don't remember. It's not clear like as much what happened afterwards. I know that she was taken away to be weighed and I gave birth to the placenta and then I got out of the bath and I did need some stitches, yeah, so I was being stitched up. I had a few stitches I can't remember how many stitches. Again, that whole part of that initial sort of after the birth, the afterbirth, if you like, is just a bit vague and hazy.

Speaker 3:

And, um, yeah, I, for some reason, the, the lead up to it was, it's so much more it's not that it was important, more important, but just just more clear in my head um, so, yeah, so they they. She was in my arms and she had her first feed. Um, and uh, yeah, then they, they, just they were. I had to go into a different room then, um, just the, the one I'd started in when they induced me. Um, which had a bit more of a comfortable bed. And then, uh, so this was so. She was born at 22 in the afternoon on the Saturday, so we'd we'd gone a few days from start to finish.

Speaker 1:

Um and um, we'd gone a few days from start to finish.

Speaker 3:

Um, now you have yeah and um, I love the fact that in in switzerland they bring you afterwards. Um, we had some cheese and crackers and stuff, whereas in the uk it's tea and toast, so it was, it was interesting. Yeah, so that that that difference. Uh, bring you something to eat. Um, because, also as well, I tried not to eat too much because, you know, I didn't know what was going to happen. Um, but I couldn't go that long without food. I love my food. I couldn't go that long without food. Um, my food. I couldn't go that long without food. Um, so, anyway, that was, I was in that room then for a few hours because, um, anne actually went and got Max and brought him um to the room and he we have a picture at home.

Speaker 3:

It is just the sweetest thing he had some Crocs which were, you know, the shoes which were in. They were like Scooby Doo Crocs, so they had like a little face of Scooby Doo on them, and he was so proud of these Crocs and he took one of them off. As he comes over to see me and the new baby, he comes over, he takes off one of the crocks, he goes look, look. I want to give my crock to my sister and of course you're aware that this is a shoe that he's been walking around in and, yeah, I want to discourage him from being lovely with his sister. But also, please keep the dirty shoe away from the newborn child. But we do have a picture with him standing next to me and me and vian with him holding up his shoe because he was very proud of his shoes, true expression of love from a five-year-old here is

Speaker 3:

my prize possession we'd also, um, bought him as well a t-shirt that said je suis un grand frere on it I'm a big brother on it, um, so he was wearing that too. So, uh, uh, yeah. So that was lovely. Um, yeah, that was lovely. So then they took me back to my original room, and one thing I really love about Moors Hospital is that they are very it feels to me like they're very forward thinking in that they encourage co-sleeping. So we'd co-slept with Max and we wanted to co-sleep with the new baby, um, in Moors Hospital after after the birth, the, the um beds are all pushed up against a wall. So there's I was in a room with two beds, so there's two of us in there and they both they arranged the room so that the bed is is the, the side of the bed is up against the wall, because then they can show you how to co-sleep. They do also have, you know, a nursery that you can take your child to if you want to, or you can just have them in the in the little bed beside your bed, um, but I really appreciated that. It really felt. It felt like we could start as we wanted to go on, and Vian was a little bit jaundiced, so they did have to put her under a light for a little while, but not wasn't very long. So this was the Saturday. I stayed in. The Sunday I had a couple of friends come to visit one, one friend in particular, who was actually leaving Switzerland that that that week. So, um, she came to say hello and goodbye.

Speaker 3:

Um, it was a little bit tricky with Max because you know he was very energetic and even in the day room he wanted to run around and make lots of noise and things like that, and I was doing okay. So on the Monday, which happened to be a holiday, one of the May holidays, I guess it must have been Pentecost I said I'd really like to go home now, and they said you could stay much longer. You can stay, you know, up to a week. And I was like no, no. And then are you sure, you know, we've got all this, all the care here and everything, and I, for me, I just wanted to be in my house, or in my apartment, on my sofa, um, surrounded by my family, um, not having to worry too much about what it looked like or what noise was being made or anything else, um, and so they said, well, we'll have to do the checks. And so they did the checks and everything was okay and cause we had the contraceptive check as well, which is always quite amusing chat, which is always quite amusing that you've just given birth, what contraception are you using? And I know it's very important, but you kind of go, I don't want to think about that right now. So we went home and we settled in at home.

Speaker 3:

Um, max actually had a gallery, I think on the tuesday or the thursday, and I walked up to the gallery with the baby and with yan and to take him to Gaudry Not far, but it was nice to get out and about. And then the midwife came every now and again. I can't remember how often. I did have a few problems breastfeeding, just trying to find the right position. I would say I'm quite um, I have ample boobage and that sometimes can be difficult to uh to breastfeed. So it was trying to find a good position and, um, and particularly doing you know, breastfeeding, laying down as well was was really useful to do. It was really made, it really easy. And I used I'd never used a sort of really standard breastfeeding hold. I always ever used the rugby ball.

Speaker 1:

So when you tuck the baby under your arm yeah, where their head is like at the boob, and then their body is kind of under your arm in a way, which it feels when you first sort of experience that hold. It feels like but this isn't how you see it in the movies or on the pictures, but it is such an effective hold, absolutely yeah, yeah, and for me, just the norm, the sort of standard hold, just wasn't very useful.

Speaker 3:

It just didn't really work. And the same with one of the, I suppose, when we were co-sleeping. I mean, vianne, even up until she was about three, was still waking up lots and lots, but breastfeeding at night I would have to move her from one side to the other. I couldn't just. I remember, to start with, the midwife said well, you could just use the upper boob to feed her, but I couldn't because there was just this danger I was going to suffocate her.

Speaker 2:

To be quite honest, so I would always have to move her from one.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, top boot, not an option at all so um, so, yeah, I just have to move from side to side. So, um, but it was, it was okay, it worked, it worked really quite well. And, um, and yeah, I it just being able to not have to worry for us because Max was being homeschooled, you know, we could just find our rhythm all of us together, which is really nice. I wasn't, I didn't have to rely on other people to I could just. You know, I felt like I was sort of in control right from the start because I didn't have to worry about taking him to school or anything else. So that was really that really helped, not that, not that that's necessarily a reason to homeschool, but it was, um, it was a lovely thing to be able to do and for all of us to have that time together as well. Lovely thing to be able to do, for all of us to have that time together as well.

Speaker 1:

Julia here. It's my mission over at Happy Day to mentor and support you in creating a pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience that is empowering, holistic and uniquely tailored to your needs. Together, we'll uncover the tools and knowledge you need to thrive with confidence, mindfulness and self-compassion at the core of your journey. That's the reason why I offer my three hallmark courses to parents in person in the Zurich area and online. They are Hypnobirthing Plus Mindful Postpartum Preparation and Hypnobirthing for Planned Cesarean Birth. Check out my website, happydayhypnobirthingch or Instagram at happydaybumpsbabesbeyond for more details, useful content and support. Now on to this week's Swiss birth story.

Speaker 2:

What did the postpartum look like? Did you have extra support coming? Was it just you guys?

Speaker 3:

was it just you guys. So, um, yeah, it was just in terms of family, it was just us, um, and we had the. Yeah, as I say, we had. The midwife came a few times, um, and then I went to a.

Speaker 3:

They had like a baby wellness clinic at um, one of the Maison de Cartier um in Lausanne, which is like one of the I suppose you might call it like a community center, um, I don't know what you'd say it is in German, but um, where they weigh the baby and then they talk about how things were going and um, so that was there.

Speaker 3:

I also had um where Max went to Gavri.

Speaker 3:

They had like a drop in sort of parent child which is kind of like a playgroup but you could take really young cup of coffee and um, you know, there were people there who, if necessary, would just hold your baby or you know, and for someone who didn't have I mean, I had my friends and stuff, but obviously they had their own kids and lives and things.

Speaker 3:

So, just being just us, it was really nice to have somewhere like that, to go to um where you could just have a cup of tea and a chat and just just to see other people as well, because, yeah, there's always the danger that you just you're in your house and you, yeah, you just get isolated and that's all you think about is your, your baby and stuff. So, yeah, I saw the midwife my original midwife from the birthing center. She came afterwards as well to check on me, um, that was uh. So even though I hadn't she hadn't been there at the birth, um, and I hadn't used the birthing centre, she was she did come and see me afterwards and that was really nice to sort of complete that circle of care with her which I'd had from pre-birth to during the pregnancy, to postpartum as well.

Speaker 2:

So that was really nice during the pregnancy to postpartum as well, so that was really nice. I really like so many things about this story, but one of the one of the things that jumped out at me is hearing you talk about the two kids together and how much joy that brought, because I think a lot of moms when they're having a second baby, they might be afraid that they can't love the second one as much as the first. There's no way to comprehend you know how you split yourself and to just kind of hear that that the combination brought you so much more joy and how that the action between them was so was so nice. I think that that would be helpful as well for a lot of second time moms to hear.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, I don't think it was. Um, I think just because you're, you've got your kids are both so different, you know that, that that somehow makes it easier, you know, because they're they're different, you know. Um, you, I found that maybe I would compare the two of them as they were growing up various stages, but not in a bad way, just sort of. I think that's the thing embracing the differences. So things aren't going to be the same as they were the second time around. They're not going to be the same the second time around as they were the first time. And you, it is almost like doing it anew, because you never know what's going to happen. You know, I thought 27 hours with Max was a long time. Turns out it wasn't. And everyone's saying, oh, it'll be quicker with your second one. You're like, ok, let's just go with that, embrace that With Max.

Speaker 3:

I breastfed him for nine months. Um, we had real issues with it, first of all with him falling asleep, um, when he was breastfeeding, and then when he got teeth, he decided he quite liked chomping down, and there was lots of things I like I tried to do, but it just, and in the end I had to say, say, I can't do this anymore With Vianne. I breastfed her for three years, three months, so that was a completely different story. I was worried when she first got teeth that we were going to have the same issue, but no, we didn't have that issue with her. Same issue, but no, we didn't have that issue with her.

Speaker 3:

So, and and yeah, and now the fact that Max is almost 21, vianne is almost 15 and, yes, you can say, well, one's a boy, one's a girl, but that really doesn't come into it. It's they've, just, they are so different, even though you do the same things with both of them. And that is one of the joys of having kids, I think, is that you never quite know what you're going to get. And as long as you just embrace that and go with it, I think if you try to fight it or you try to um recreate, or or you know, if you feel like you've made mistakes the first time and try and fix them the second time, yeah, it doesn't work like that. You just have to really just go with the flow. I think it's kind of work for us anyway, yeah, as much as possible I have.

Speaker 2:

I've heard that that you're never the same parent. You're not the same parent to the first, as you are to the second, as you are to the you're. You've learned, you've grown, you've changed and they're completely different people. So it wouldn't make sense to parent them exactly the same way yeah, exactly cool wow, um, thank you so much for for sharing your, your story, um.

Speaker 2:

We'd like to close with a question, um, that can apply to either birth or postpartum, or put any any time in this, in this story, and that is, yeah, what is for you your most brilliant moment oh, um, it's interesting question.

Speaker 3:

Um, I thought initially my most brilliant moment, the thing I was most proud of initially, the thing I was most proud of was that I'd had Jan's birth with no pain relief at all. But actually I think now I'm now I've told the story to you guys. I think it is that the relationship between the two of them. How you know, max is the big brother. He had this idea in his head of who he wanted to be to her. And then just seeing them you know him walking up to the bed, just a little bit unsure as an almost six-year-old. Them, you know he, him walking up to the bed, just a little bit unsure as an almost six-year-old, you know, a little bit unsure. And then he just looking at her in my arms and him just being so like in awe of this, this baby, um, and then just wanted to share his shoes with her. I think that was the best, yeah.

Speaker 2:

That is a really, really lovely image, yeah, okay, well, thank you again. So much, claire, it was a privilege it was a pleasure, I have to say.

Speaker 3:

Every year with a group of friends on whatsapp it gets to four days, yeah, four days before vianne's birthday and I, I start the, the oh is this time? X number of years ago, my water's broke and they, they don't. They know the story inside and out because it was.

Speaker 1:

She gets a four day birthday celebration.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, exactly, I do also do the. This was their due date too, as well, because Vianne ended up being eight days late. Max was five days late, so, um, yeah, I do that. Oh, this was the time when I was due, and and then we go oh, this was the time when it started, so, so it's nice to be able to share it with everybody else.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's lovely. Oh, Claire, I've loved this. I've loved this story and listening to it, and thank you so, so, so much. This has been so wonderful, Thank you. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Swiss Birth Stories. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an inspiring birth story or expert insight. Your support means the world to us and helps this community grow, so please also take a moment to rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more parents-to-be. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend or loved one who could benefit from it, and be sure to follow us on social media at Swiss Birth Stories for even more tips, resources and updates on upcoming podcast guests, courses and events. We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and birth stories too, so feel free to DM us, fill out the form on our website, SwissBirthStoriescom, or tag us in your posts. Until next time, keep sharing, keep learning and keep connecting with each other.

People on this episode

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Julia Neale

Host
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Christine Bliven

Co-host