Swiss Birth Stories
Our mission is to share diverse birth stories from across Switzerland in a way that empowers the storyteller. We aim to create a supportive space where each person is in control of their own narrative. By recording and sharing birth stories in Switzerland, we hope to inspire those planning their own birth, offer insights for birth workers, or allow listeners to reflect on their own birth experiences. Tune in to hear real, personal, raw birth stories. Available on all major podcast platforms. This podcast is in seasons; during an active season, episodes will be released weekly.
Swiss Birth Stories
Agata: Five Unmedicated Hospital Births- Motherhood, Creativity and Transformation
Agata, mother of five children, shares her experiences of pregnancy and giving birth at Hirslanden Hospital in Zurich with remarkable honesty, self-awareness, and optimism.
• Originally from Russia, Agata met her German husband in the UK before settling in Zurich in 2011
• Always wanted a large family- had her first three children in less than three years, followed by her fourth and fifth
• Learned to listen to her body during pregnancy, which helped heal her relationship with food
• Experienced different labor signs with each pregnancy, contractions for most births, but her water broke with her fourth
• Discovered the importance of being relaxed during labor, finding that enemas helped her mentally prepare and relax
• First birth lasted about 10 hours, while subsequent births became progressively faster
• Fifth birth was transformative as she learned to "give space to pain" rather than resisting it
• Had water births for her fourth and fifth children, finding the experience gentler for both herself and baby
• Found her unplanned fifth pregnancy reconnected her with singing and creativity
• Now makes music, recording five songs while pregnant with her fifth child, more available on Spotify. She also leads a mother's group called Mama Star (information below)
• Connects birth experiences to a life philosophy: when we stop resisting and allow natural processes to unfold, everything flows more smoothly
Agata's resources:
Star - https://bnd.lc/j6wEw
Love You Always - https://bnd.lc/loveyoualways
One can find links to various streaming platforms here: https://www.agatastapelfeldt.com/music
I also would like to share that I've started a community for mums-entrepreneurs - Mama Star- One can join by contacting me via Instagram https://www.instagram.com/agata_stapelfeldt/ or via my website https://www.agatastapelfeldt.com/contact
Check out Agata's music on Spotify, including "Love You Always," a beautiful song about motherhood featured at the end of this episode.
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Hi, welcome to Swiss Birth Stories. I'm Julia Neal, mother, perinatal educator, hypnobirthing coach and trainee doula.
Speaker 1:And I'm Christina Bliven. I'm a doula, baby-wearing consultant, childbirth educator and mother of three.
Speaker 2:baby-wearing consultant childbirth educator and mother of three. In this episode we talk to Agata, mom to five children. She speaks so openly about her experiences of pregnancy and giving birth to her children at Hjæslanden in Zurich. This conversation is full of honesty, humor and vulnerability. Agata has an optimistic, self-knowing way of speaking, which was an absolute delight. Stick around for the end of the episode where we play Love you Always, a song about motherhood by Agatha. You can also check out her music on Spotify. She speaks about how her fifth child helped her reconnect with her love of singing and creativity. About how her fifth child helped her reconnect with her love of singing and creativity. This episode is a little longer than most, but with five children and births to talk about, I think that's pretty understandable. Enjoy this lovely episode and let us know what your thoughts are over on Instagram at Swiss Birth Stories. On to the episode.
Speaker 1:Hi Agatha, Thanks for joining us. Hi ladies, Could you start by just telling us a little bit about yourself and your family?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a long story but I'll try to be short. I'm actually from Russia, but at some point I moved to the UK and I studied there at the University and there I met my husband. He's German and when he was deciding at careers fair, like where he wants to apply, there were like options, zurich or Munich and I was like, let's go to Zurich. Because the year before that I came here and I was really like impressed and I was like, oh my god, I want to live here. And then, yeah, that moment kind of came and then, yeah, let's go to Zurich. He applied, he got the job and we moved to Zurich in 2011. So we've been living here for quite a while now, except for three years that we spent in Singapore from 2019 to 2022. Yeah, so, and we also have five kids, and all of them were born here in Zurich, in here's London, in the hospital. Yeah, and today I'm going to share my positive birth stories. I'll follow them.
Speaker 2:Can you tell us about your journey to motherhood and your decision to start a family? Did you always want to have a big family? How?
Speaker 3:did that time go for you and your partner? Yeah, well, yes, I always wanted to have a big family and I always said to everybody like, yes, I'm going to have at least three kids. Because I had this logic in my mind I wanted my kids to be able to learn communication, and if there are two, it's like there's not so much you can learn, but if there are three, you know they can make up like coalitions and fight with each other and all that and support each other, like. And so I thought, yeah, three is the minimum and then we'll see how it goes. And then I kind of, uh, yeah, let's trust life and everything that's happening. Uh, so, yeah, I had three kids, like very fast, uh, within less than three years, my first three kids were born fast, within less than three years, my first three kids were born. And then my husband and I were like, okay, let's take a break. And so I had to install like an IUD. But then at some point I also realized that I never, ever wanted to install it. But this, I think this is another story. So now I don't have anything, but yeah, but this, I think this is another story.
Speaker 3:So now I don't have anything, uh, but yeah, there is another way that we uh kind of um what do you say? Um, ensure that we don't have more kids. Yeah, but I always wanted a lot of kids and my parents were also very supportive. My dad was always saying that you have five kids is like the perfect number. My grandma, she had only one. My parents only have two. Uh, she was always like, yeah, five kids is like the perfect, perfect number of kids. Because also, you know, in russian, same family means uh, simya and семь means seven. Я means I, seven, I. Basically, if you kind of just look at this word, seven I, this is family, and now we have a perfect family in.
Speaker 1:Russian, literally, the definition of family. Yes, yes, yes, okay.
Speaker 3:So my husband was not, uh, very keen on having a big family, but he was not that against it, you know like.
Speaker 1:So we eventually have now five kids and, uh, yeah, it's going well so, going back to the the first, what kinds of things were you doing during pregnancy to prepare?
Speaker 3:Oh, I was reading some blogs.
Speaker 3:You know some birth stories a lot of birth stories and I was like, oh my God, this is so scary. Like I was really scared, actually the first time. Well, to say that I was also even more scared the second time because I knew what I was going to go through. But I didn't read a lot of books. This is what I do. I always kind of learn from experience mostly, and trust the process and trust my intuition. But I always knew that I wanted my birth to be as natural as possible. But I always knew that I wanted my birth to be as natural as possible, although I didn't consider a birthing home because I wanted to have some insurance of a hospital just in case.
Speaker 3:But when we had our first talk the midwife from the hospital and me I was like, yeah, as natural as possible. Like the blood cord should be cut as late as possible. Yeah, because I also kind of studied this topic that as soon as it stops pulsating it's okay to cut. Like you don't have to to be really crazy about it. To keep the placenta with you for a week until it falls off by itself. I don't know, it would be crazy to have a newborn and to do that. I just can't imagine doing that, but some people do. I mean, yeah, it's their choice, but uh, but then at some point I actually uh came across uh blood court storage. You know that, yeah, it was creosafe.
Speaker 3:At that time it was 12 years ago. Uh, now creosafe is, by the way, bankrupt and they were bought by someone else and they uh ask for more money. And that's why I'm like I don't know why we did it in the first place. We did it for our three kids. For the the last two we didn't do anything like that. But yeah, and then my doctor said um, yeah, if you want to store your cord blood, you have to cut earlier yeah, what time frame did they give you?
Speaker 3:well, I think about a minute yeah yeah, like yeah, because we have to have blood in the cord. You're right, yeah, but um, yeah, the kids were healthy. You know I also considered that. You know, if the kids were healthy, you know I also considered that you know if the kids were weak or small, like of course we would maybe reconsider, but my kids my first kid was 4.2 kilos, so he was strong and big.
Speaker 2:That's a very healthy size. Yeah, how was your pregnancy? That's a very healthy size, yeah. How was your?
Speaker 3:pregnancy. It was good, but there was one exception At some point something was hurting in my lower back, but then I had an acupuncture treatment and it went away, yeah, in like about a month. But it was so weird. I was literally like, how do you call that? Um, bubbling, yeah, I couldn't walk properly. Yeah, crippling, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, yeah, something has to be done about it, because it's already, uh, like seven months of pregnancy. I have a huge bump. And then walking like, oh, and then my doctor directed me to that um specialist, yeah, and also there, it's a funny thing.
Speaker 3:But, um, at some point I had some pain in my stomach, uh, for about for several days, and I was away. I was like somewhere in portugal, I think, uh, or spain, okay, anyway, and it was so painful and I, uh, uh, at some point I was like I can't bear it anymore. I should call my doctor. And she was like, oh, um, that's um, oh, my god, how do you say that in english when you can't poop, constipation, constipation, and just like you have to take magnesium and it's all going to go away, and I was like who knew?
Speaker 1:Oh man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. It was like suffering so much for like several days I couldn't understand what's going on. It was so painful in the stomach on on the side of very common in Portugal.
Speaker 2:Could you find like high doses of magnesium?
Speaker 3:no, I came back and then straight away but yeah, like here, but here they actually prescribe you magnesium quite often.
Speaker 2:I think almost everyone has the little magnesium sachets.
Speaker 3:Yeah, actually my last pregnancy.
Speaker 2:I had the whole box and I never used it. Yeah, I know people who keep it aside for later.
Speaker 3:Just in case. Yeah, just in case. I had it, but never needed it.
Speaker 2:How about your other pregnancies if we compare it to your first, to your first?
Speaker 3:yeah, uh, my second one. I think it was the the easiest one, although I I had uh nausea like once, like I had to throw up outside when I was like on the way, like on the tram, but I had a bag with me, thankfully, but it was like the only time in my five pregnancies that I really had to like throw up. But nausea, yeah, I had nausea, like not feeling very well. Every time I think, oh, but not in the first one though. Oh, no, no, in the first one also. Yeah, a little bit, but then I ate something and it went away yeah yeah, I'm needing to eat when you don't want to eat.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's really hard, but it it helps so much I just have to eat to stop it, you know, oh, yeah, but anyway, in my first pregnancy I actually learned to listen to my body, like when I really wanted to eat and what I wanted to eat, because before that I had a little bit not a healthy relationship with food, but during the pregnancy it normalized. I really kind of started to understand, okay, this is what I need now, and this is not and or like that much. Like I need this much now and yeah, not, and not more than that. And it, yeah, kind of happened like that for me. But okay, I was uh, learning about this topic a lot also before that, but it was amazing how during during pregnancy, if you let your body guide you, it can actually like help you behave in the most healthy way, so to speak.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so let's let's talk about my other pregnancies. So in the first one there were these things. In the second one, there was only that thing that I had to, yeah, um, and nothing else, because I was so busy with my first baby, you know because because, uh, yeah, there were things to do and I was like not really paying attention even to the fact that I was pregnant. Oh, and, by the way. Maybe this can be helpful, because I was breastfeeding fully on demand and I became pregnant when my first baby was eight months old with the second one.
Speaker 3:That was also a funny story, because I Did I have a period? Did I get a? I did I have a period? Did I get a period? Maybe I got a period and then I didn't have it anymore. And then I came to the doctor and she was like, oh, the baby looks this size and basically, oh, maybe I didn't. Oh, my God, I don't remember if I had a period or not.
Speaker 2:I think that that's okay.
Speaker 3:It was funny because we couldn't determine the due date. Wow, because the due date for my second baby was like two weeks apart, like a court. All right, I had a period. According to the period, it was like the uh 7th of april and according to the size of the baby, it was like 21st of April.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the baby was born on the 14th. Yeah, so from the 7th of April, we were like, yeah, we have to be ready, like even before that, right, like if it's really, it's really due date, like you have to be ready a little bit earlier. Uh, yeah, that was a funny story because like, yeah, we don't know when the baby is coming. It's like any time within two weeks, plus two weeks before and two weeks after, you know, because Springtime, this is how you have to calculate, right, because it's never a due date. Due date is just, it's a death date. Yes, yes, but actually all my other kids were very close to the due date or on the due date. So my fifth one was born exactly on the due date. Yes, so, and I breastfed. The baby is eight months and I got pregnant. So to all the ladies who think that breastfeeding can prevent you from pregnancy uh, of course, no, like, a second time, a third time all happened when I was still breastfeeding, did you?
Speaker 2:tandem breastfeed, or was that just not?
Speaker 3:possible. No, I stopped. I stopped when, uh, the first baby was 13 months and then I had like three months break and the third time I got pregnant. My second baby was five months, and that was I even know why. Because I tried to stop breastfeeding at night because I wanted to kind of experiment. Okay, what, what is gonna happen like? Is it possible to not breastfeed at night at five months old? Because I'm so tired to wake up like five times a night. And then I got pregnant and also I noticed that my milk supply was starting to decrease, so I started again to breastfeed at night. I was like, yeah, well, that's my choice, I really want to breastfeed my baby and I'm just not gonna sleep well, well, until I cannot anymore. But yeah, I did that also like 13 months with the second one. And then there was a smaller break between them.
Speaker 3:The third pregnancy, oh, the third pregnancy, oh, the third pregnancy. Oh, that was a little scary. You know, when it was about three months of pregnancy, I was going on a tram and suddenly, I know, I felt something like the bleeding started. Basically, I was sitting and then I got up and I was like, oh, my god, I'm bleeding, like like so much like on my legs and I was so thankful that nothing got on the seats, because the seats were made of textile, you know like not not like the new drums now, but uh, and I was like, oh my god, but a little bit got on the floor, but like a little drop, a little tiny one. Yeah, like this is what.
Speaker 3:This was what I was thinking about, right worried about yeah yes, but anyway, uh, I was like, okay, if it's a miscarriage, well then it's meant to be. Like, uh, we know that nature knows best, so we have to trust nature and everything happens for the best. And so, while I was there on the tram, I called my doctor straight away. I was like I'm bleeding, like what can I do, like. But I was not alone. Thankfully, I was with my mom. My mom was. And so while I was there on the tram, I called my doctor straight away. I was like I'm bleeding, like what can I do? But I was not alone. Thankfully, I was with my mom, my mom was visiting and my other kids or one kid, I don't remember, because they're already two, no, maybe two. Right, there were two, because where was the other one? My husband was in the office so he couldn't stay at home. So, anyway, and that was so scary, I was like, oh my God, my hands were shaking. I called the doctor. She was like, yeah, come straight away. And it was evening, it was like 6 pm, but she was still in the office, in practice, and I also immediately called my husband.
Speaker 3:I was like I'm on a tram, I'm bleeding, I'm coming home and I'm gonna take a shower, wash, change my clothes and I'm going to drive to the doctor. I'll pick you up somewhere. So basically I was going to drive. I left my kids with my mom, took a car, drove to Kun's house, picked up my husband, we drove together to his london area, like my home, tolikoberg. Yeah, my doctor was in tolikoberg and we were in orlicon. Like it's about 25 minutes drive or maybe more, yeah, but it was okay.
Speaker 3:So I I picked him up, we came there and she did the what's it called Ultrasound Ultrasound, yes. And she was like, oh, the baby's doing fine, you just have this blood clot and it's under the baby. You know, like it's not pushing the baby down, it's under the baby, so the baby is not kind of in danger. And then we were like, okay, where is this blood clot coming from? Like this is so weird and it's huge. So basically, after that I was bleeding for like two months until this blood clot was out. Like two months until this blood clot was out. But they also put me into a hospital for like a week to so that I can keep calm and don't do anything. But I was breastfeeding, so my second baby was with me and it was about the time when he started crawling.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, very relaxing.
Speaker 3:And we were like laying there on the bed and he was like crawling all around. That was fun, yeah, but anyway, I didn't have to do anything around the house, I didn't have to go for walks with my older son, who was already how old Two yeah, he was too already yeah, spent some time in the hospital, but then everything was okay. But you know what the doctor also said she, she was like, yeah, maybe it was twins in the beginning and just one survived kind of, and the other one just kind of this is what happened and then became a blood clot and then it, um, it had to kind of come out. But that's an interesting theory.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Cause there are no twins in my family, like at all. But I also at some point was thinking, oh, that would be so cool to have twins. It all turned out well. There was nothing else with that pregnancy and the baby was born, also on due date, healthy, happy and briefly. I'll mention the fifth, the fourth and the fifth. So the fourth pregnancy how was that? Like I don't even remember. Oh yeah, because I was so busy with the three kids. You know, like I think there was nothing wrong with that pregnancy, like everything was just perfect.
Speaker 2:At that point were your three kids? Was your eldest old enough to be in kindergarten, or did they have any kind of care during the day, or was it?
Speaker 3:or were you? Yes, yes, yes, my first two. They were in the second kindergarten and the first kindergarten, and they were even in the same group.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:Only the third one. Yeah, I had to take her to also some activities, like a couple times a week. Oh, oh, that's what I remember. I was really tired all the time. So whenever everybody was home like the kids are home home, like lunch is done, everything is done I would just lay on the sofa and sleep Like I was literally sleeping. The kids were playing in front of me somewhere like in the living room and I would just nap, nap, nap all the time. Yeah, I was very tight. That was like the only thing. And with the fifth pregnancy, yeah, like this is a really weird situation.
Speaker 3:Yes, I was nauseous, like the, I think, from the second month, yeah, second and third month, and at some point I also got sick. I got, I got cold, I got some other symptoms, like my ear was also aching, and I also was like doing my own personal explorations, like what's going on in my life? What do I want to do? And then at some point I meditated and I had an idea to write a song about healing. And well, it's a story like yes, I played one game, I threw a dice and I landed on a square called initial vibrations sound and I was like, oh my God, this is a sign. So I was like, yes, I'm going to write a song about healing.
Speaker 3:I'm not a musician, but I used to sing. I used to take vocal classes and I've been singing all the time. Anywhere Everywhere I've lived, I had a vocal teacher. But at that time I stopped singing and I was feeling really, really bad and I was pregnant and feeling sick and my head was. My head was like so not clear, like I had even a little bit of fever, and my doctor said it's okay, like in pregnancy one might have fever. But I was like I'm not myself. I'm like I'm not, I don't know what's going on. This is like so such a weird feeling. I never had such a bad feeling. I can't do anything.
Speaker 3:And the time I decided to create a song, bless you I realized I have someone who can help me with that, because I'm not a musician, I'm not a songwriter, but I have an idea that I want to put forward. And I had a call with her and we agreed to write a song and I felt unbelievable burst of energy. I was like, oh, my God, I'm healing. And that was also during this pregnancy. And oh, I mean, the beginning of the pregnancy was also very difficult, because for my husband it was kind of difficult because we didn't plan to have the fifth child. For me, I was ready. I was like, whatever happens happens For him, he was not ready and I was kind of by myself in this whole situation and I had to support myself going through this first of all, like the pregnancy symptoms, my personal searches, self-searching and supporting him, and it was not easy.
Speaker 3:And then when I started singing, at some point I stopped singing. I was like, yeah, I'm not going to sing because I don't like the songs, I don't like the words, the lyrics. I don't want to pronounce that, I don't want to reiterate that all the time. So I'm going to sing only when I have my own songs. And that was the beginning.
Speaker 3:And I think it also has to do with my baby, with my little one. I think he is also the one who inspired me to do that because kids also create conditions for themselves. When they're born, they want their parents to be a certain way so that when they come into this world they can grow in the way that they need to grow. They can learn some things from their parents that they need to learn. And so I think, because of this fifth baby, started singing. I don't know. I don't know what would happen if I wasn't pregnant with him, if he wouldn't wasn't born. But I mean, whatever happened happened.
Speaker 3:I started singing, I started and then, yeah, energy got started flowing. I forgot again that I was pregnant, although not not in a way that, yes, I'm not pregnant. I knew that I was pregnant, but there were no symptoms at all, like no nausea, no headache, no cold, like everything was gone. And so, while I was pregnant, we created and recorded five songs, wow. And I even organized a concert, a little concert While pregnant. While pregnant, amazing. And my friend actually my friend once suggested to draw a mandala on my bump when I was pregnant. I was like, oh, let's do it all on the same day. We'll have a day, you know, we'll have a concert. You draw a mandala, everyone sees it, we'll take pictures and all that. Yeah, that was fun. And so, basically, I started singing. Now my thing is creating and singing inspirational songs Like this is who I am now. And it all changed during my fifth pregnancy.
Speaker 1:That's incredible.
Speaker 3:And it's also like I have a couple of songs that really like reflect a little bit on some feelings that we were going through, that I wanted also to pass to my children because of our fifth pregnancy, which was not planned, and maybe I'll share later which songs these are, and they're really inspiring.
Speaker 1:Hi, I'm Christina, a doula, baby-wearing consultant, childbirth educator and mother of three. I'm the owner of Lilybee, a family hub in Zurich where you can find resources, community and support in English as you begin your journey into parenthood. It takes a village. Find yours here. What about um kind of the early labor signs, um that that you found, that you noticed that this was the the real deal, that something is starting?
Speaker 3:uh, yeah, I only had contractions from four pregnancies. I had contractions, so I would start this pulling, uh feeling, you know, like when you have your period, like this would be the sensation, and first it's quiet, light, and then it becomes stronger. So this is what happened for my four pregnancies First, second, third, third and fifth. At my fourth pregnancy, though, uh, my water broke, yeah, during, like I was just doing something, and then I feel that something is start starting to leak and I, yeah, I realized, yeah, that's the water uh, breaking. And I called the hospital. I was like, yeah, my water is broken, what do I do? And they were like, yeah, well, you can come if you want. Like you can come now, you can come later. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna get ready, I'm gonna collect my stuff and come when I'm ready.
Speaker 3:So I came there like three hours later, nothing is happening. So I was there. They like looked, checked everything, nothing is happening. Uh, oh, a little bit of um dilation was there, just a little bit. And they're like, yeah, let's just wait. So it's, I've been there for like three hours already. Nothing is happening, no contractions.
Speaker 3:And I was calling my mom, my friends, and I was like, yeah, I'm in the hospital, I'm kind of giving birth here, and my friend was like you don't look like you're giving birth, you're just chilling there. I was like, yeah, kind of just chilling here alone, that's also not so bad. And then it was like already getting later and later in the day it was about 11 PM and I was like nothing is happening. What do we do? And the midwife came and she was like do you want we stimulate a little bit, like with the finger? And I was like, okay, yeah, let's do that. So she stimulated a little bit and she was like yeah, and now go and walk up and down the stairs. So this was what I did with my husband. The only mistake that I did was I had not very comfortable shoes. I had flip-flops. It was so uncomfortable to walk with flip-flops up and down the stairs. So I would recommend to take comfortable shoes into the hospital, especially if you don't have contractions yet. Very good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was summer, it was like May, the end of May, and it was very warm, so I had flip-flops on Not a good idea. So, yeah, I was walking up and down, up and down, and I think in about an hour contractions started. Yeah, and then in about two hours, within two hours, the baby was there. Were all your births quite fast? No, not all, but they were okay. I never had to wait 24 hours or something. The longest was about 10 hours.
Speaker 3:So, from the moment I noticed contractions because it was in the morning, like the first birth I noticed it at 8 am. I woke up. I was like, yeah, it'sm so. 10 hours later and an interesting thing though, with the first birth, oh right, I had contractions once without a birth. So it's not Braxton Hicks, I think it was something bigger than that. So it's not Braxton Hicks, I think it was something bigger than that. So even my doctor I was at my doctor's at the appointment and she was like, oh, I think the contractions are coming, you might give birth tonight. She told me it was Monday and I was like, oh, okay. So I was like, go home, get ready and see how it goes. And then it was like, yeah, coming home, let's get ready. I'm the same to my husband. Let's get ready. We go to the hospital tonight and we're like making some videos like dancing. We still have those videos and we watched, we watched them once, like a little time ago, and it was so funny.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic.
Speaker 3:But, and then we're like I'm like you know, but it's becoming less and less. I don't understand, like I don't think it's developing. And so I called my doctor. I was like I don't feel that much anymore and she was like, oh, okay, maybe that was false, false alarm. So, yeah, we didn't go to the hospital, we stayed at home, and then the real contractions that actually led to the birth were on Friday. So the five-day gas, yes, oh, so that happens too. Mm-hmm, yeah, and the first, okay, let's, let's get to the birth story number one. And uh, I'm just, uh, yeah, gonna say what's similar also with others, so that I don't have to mention that again. So we came to the hospital and the first thing they did, they kind of sent me to a checkup room and they checked the contractions with the monitors. Like what are these things? Like they put it on your belly CTG, are they like long?
Speaker 2:straps.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, and they also checked the dilation. But I was like, oh my God, I'm in such pain. I'm like I just can't bear it. And actually, when we're driving to the hospital, oh my god, it was so painful yeah, that's often a really intense time and, yeah, I don't even understand how I managed to go through that pain.
Speaker 3:I think it was like longer than six hours, yeah, so we arrived maybe at 10, yeah, and then, oh, so it would be eight, eight hours in am to 6 pm, six something, but yeah, it was like that and what they suggested to me that I could do is take a bath, go into a bath, hot bath. I actually was considering water birth, but they did like about a week before or sometime before they did a test to test for some bacteria I think staphylococcus or something, gbs, yeah, and there was this bacteria. So they didn't allow me to have water birth, uh, but they allowed me to go into the bath just to relax. But, oh my god, it was such a hot bath I was sweating there. At some point I was like, oh my god, I'm sweating so much I want to get out of here, but it was okay. I mean, it was okay in the beginning.
Speaker 3:And then, yeah, I got out of there, uh, and you know, I don't remember, uh, everything that I did, but, um, there was one thing, for that was very important for me to do before the birth and that was, um, enema. Because, uh, I heard that, for example, in russia, they do it as a standard procedure, and here I asked my doctor and she was like, oh, yeah, okay, we can do that. I mean, you can ask that, uh, but it's not standard procedure and they say that it's not so comfortable for a woman to do it and that's why it's not standard. But I was like, oh my god, but I don't want to poop all over the place when I give birth, so I I think it's quite good for me to have that.
Speaker 3:And, um, I had that every birth. And what I also noticed is that, okay, I did it, I think about after after about six, seven or five, six, seven centimeters dilation. I waited for that and then I was like, yes, let's do enema. And after I did that I realized, kind of, you know, mentally, I was ready to relax and I was like, yes, now I can relax.
Speaker 2:Now.
Speaker 3:I'm not afraid of anything anymore, like about these things. And yeah, that was when the process went much faster, after I was able to relax, to really not hold anything in. I think for me, enema was like one of the best things during birth that helped me relax. Nothing else helps you like so much. And for the pain management the first time I don't even remember I was very tense. I couldn't bear that pain. I was uh. Yeah, every time I had contraction I would become like I can't bear it, yeah, so I think that was also why it lasted so long, like not a couple of hours, but 10 hours, um, whereas second time, uh, it was much faster. Okay, they say the second birth is much faster than the first one.
Speaker 3:Uh, but also I think there was like one trick that a midwife did. She gave me some homeopathical treatment, like some ball with homeopathic thingy. I don't know what that was. I took it, but I don't know whether that really helped or I was super tired just because I had a toddler already. But I started to really fall asleep in between contractions, like contractions, were happening. I was like, oh my God, oh my God, I can't stand it. And then it's gone. I was like I'm just sleeping.
Speaker 3:I was so relaxed and contractions started maybe at 6 pm and I gave birth before 12 pm, so much faster. But I came to the hospital about 9 because I was like, oh, I have to make dinner. I made dinner, I took some pictures again, you know, like with my last time with the belly, and then we only drove, but my aunt was there, she stayed with toddler, with the one-year-old and, yeah, my husband. I went to the hospital where at at nine, about nine, and then within three hours the baby was there, because I was also very determined to give birth on that particular date. It was such a beautiful date the 14th of April 2014, 14th, 4th, 14th. I was like this.
Speaker 1:I mean it was just before midnight or just after, just before, just before.
Speaker 3:I was like I have to give birth tonight. Such a beautiful date. Yeah, just before I was like I have to give birth tonight, Such a beautiful date.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Julia here. It's my mission over at Happy Day to mentor and support you in creating a pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience that is empowering, holistic and uniquely tailored to your needs. Together, we'll uncover the tools and knowledge you need to thrive with confidence, mindfulness and self-compassion at the core of your journey. That's the reason why I offer my three hallmark courses to parents in person in the Zurich area and online. They are Hypnobirthing Plus Mindful Postpartum Preparation and Hypnobirthing for Planned Caesarean Birth. Check out my website, happydayhypnobirthingch or Instagram at happydaybumpsbabesbeyond for more details, useful content and support. Now on to this week's Swiss birth story.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I was very determined, I was like I want to give birth tonight, until the midwife. But then I was relaxed and she was like, yeah, it's going well, your dilation is progressing. And then at some point I was like, yeah, let's do the enema. We did the enema and then it all went fast, yeah, but always painful, you know like because I didn't have any medication. The last part, right, I mean, the contractions are painful, as they are, you know, like a super exaggerated period pain, I would say, which I, by the way, never have Like during my period. I don't have pain, just a little bit, a little bit like discomfort, but no real pain, but, yeah, contractions, but then the birth itself, when the baby's coming out. This is the most painful thing because, well, I don't know, it's just very painful. Yeah, and the third time I also had the same with coming check in, just waiting there, midwives also checking on me, checking the dilation. At some point contractions are getting more, dilation is getting more enema, and then, yeah, it becomes more active and I give birth. Um, the only difference there maybe was the during the third birth. Uh, they gave me something to breathe like so that I have more air, kind of a more oxygen. That time, the third time, I didn't have the homeopathy. The third time. Right, that was interesting. So we came there in the evening and they looked at my dilation. They were like, oh, you can go to sleep. The baby will be born in the morning. You're still not dilated enough, just go to sleep". And I was like what, how am I going to sleep when this pain is unbearable? But my husband went to sleep and I was like, yeah, I laid also next to him and I was like I can't bear it anymore, I can't bear it, how am I going to sleep? And I was like anymore, like I can't bear it, how am I going to sleep? And I was like let's do the enema. And then, you know, I actually gave birth, like at 2am at night, yeah, and the similar thing happened the fourth time as well. There I had a water birth and they knew that they had to prepare the bath, and so it also was the same like in the evening. They're like, yeah, you know, dilated enough, you can go to sleep. And so I went. But then I was like, but let's do the anime, just in case. Yeah, like just.
Speaker 3:And so it was like midnight or something 1112 this time and I was laying there and I realized that contractions are getting stronger and stronger and I was even like starting to do some sounds like breathing through it, like with my voice also, like and then the midwife was coming. It was like you are giving birth already and I'm like, oh, really Like we have to prepare a bath Quick, quick, quick, quick. Yes, that was exactly that. So she went there, prepared a bath, like within like five to 10 minutes, and then I got in there and I think within three contractions, the baby was there. Wow, it was really fast. So I was like I just got in there, yeah, three contractions like pushes, and the baby was out. I'm like, oh my God.
Speaker 2:How did you find the experience between, like, a dry land birth and a water birth, or did you even have time to really get into that space?
Speaker 3:The water birth. Yeah, that was fast. The fourth one was very fast. I didn't really even manage to register, you know, like I didn't spend that much time on water. But I also realized that for the baby it was really good, you know, because when the baby comes out they come out into the water. When the baby comes out, they come out into the water.
Speaker 3:So when they half come out, right, because they don't come out straight away like just half, just the head first and then the rest, and for I think for the baby is less stressful because, they are still like in the water, they're still in the same kind of environment and then, you know, when they out completely, they kind of come onto my chest and for me it was also quite warm, nice in the water, I liked it. But yeah, I didn't spend that much time in the water the first time, I mean the fourth birth. I spent actually a lot of time in the water before the baby came out, about half an hour maybe. And this was a completely different birth.
Speaker 3:I had a very different approach to pain because I learned to accept pain. You know, I learned to give space to pain throughout all these years. You know, I had five years between my fourth and fifth birth and I was learning a lot like exploring my life, exploring what's happening, my experiences, accepting my feelings, emotions and realizing my needs and all that. That helped a lot because during the fifth birth, yes, the beginning was quite the same as before you come there, although that time there was no initial checkup in a different room. You just came into the room where you give birth, go there straight away. So they do everything there, all the checkups. The pain was already strong, but I learned to go through it. So basically, I would give space to pain, I would breathe through it, I would relax as much as possible. When it was painful, I was even yeah, like through my voice.
Speaker 3:I would kind of voice it out like breathe out, with sound like ah you know like that and really breathe very slowly when I had contractions and I found also some positions in which it was more comfortable and at some point I realized, when my husband was hugging me it was less painful. So I was like I have contractions, come hug me. And then he would hug me and I was like and breathe just very slowly, like until very last bit of air comes out, breathe in through the nose, breathe out through the mouth, and then at some point I realized that my contractions were not that long. So, for example, usually they're like a minute is contraction, a minute is the break contraction like a minute is contraction, contractions, there are several, and then you have a minute break. In my case it was half a minute is contraction contractions there are several, and then you have a minute break. In my case it was half a minute contractions at the minute break. And it was like that until the very end.
Speaker 3:And the midwives were like I was like you know what? I don't feel the contractions are so strong, I don't feel them to be like really, really strong. And they were like oh, it's going to get stronger, but they never got stronger. It was amazing. I was like because I don't know. I was really allowing them to be. I wasn't fighting them, I wasn't tense, I was really relaxed and breathing through them and giving them space. And at some point I was like, okay, let's check the dilation. We checked it was about seven centimeters. Okay, let's do the animal now. So I did the animal the usual and then I could completely relax. And then they were like okay, do you want to go into the bath? Okay, let's go into the bath. And then in the bath also, I was like I found this position you know, the bath is very comfortable in the hospital because it's deeper than, for example, the bath that we have at home and you could stand on your knees and you could like lean onto the edge and really, when I had contractions, this was the best position my husband was also hugging me on the top and I could also like breathe there like uh, and it was also like flowy, you know, and uh, and the doctor that was my doctor. My doctor was like oh, the funny thing was that, uh, at the first fourth birth, the doctor arrived after I already gave birth because it was so fast. Yeah, they were like yeah, we're done already.
Speaker 3:So the fifth time, my doctor was like I'm going to come a bit earlier just in case. And she was there and the midwife was there. And then there was some other lady there the fifth time and the other lady I think she was checking the baby. Like she was there to check the baby after the baby is there. But she was like, can I stay there and watch you? Also I was like, yeah, sure, like I don't, I don't mind, like anyone, because you know, when I gave birth the first time, there were so many people there Like the midwives were changing shifts. You know, I think there were two midwives each shift and they were also changing and I was like, yeah, just come anyone, Like I don't mind at all. And then, you know, when I gave birth, they were also checking, like the breasts all the time. They're checking the stitches, and I'm just, yeah, you can watch whatever you want, I don't mind anymore.
Speaker 3:So the fifth time, yeah, the birth there was another person there and she even asked, you know like, oh, yeah, sure, of course, like why, why not? Although I, why not? Although I mean it's not the most. How do you say beautiful process? I mean like from the. I mean it's beautiful in its own way, right, but it's not like super aesthetic yeah, that's the better word so you wouldn't want a lot of people see you in that position. But it's a woman, so I mean, she's working there and that's why, of course, I don't mind.
Speaker 3:And at some point I started feeling those pushing sensations when you kind of are ready to give birth.
Speaker 3:And my doctor midwife, they were like, yeah, it's better if you take that position.
Speaker 3:They were kind of guiding ready to give birth and and my doctor midwife and they're like, yeah, it's better if you take that position.
Speaker 3:They were kind of guiding me in the position, um, and then I took that position and then the baby was there. Yeah, in like five to ten minutes, I think. Yeah, it's hard to really uh say yeah, uh. And then they were like, wow, that was so good, you did so well, like this was such a beautiful bird, like so relaxing, so like like I'm so glad that I could witness that. And they were like coming to me afterwards as well, like several times, and like, well, I was there at the hospital and saying how grateful they are that I, I was there and I showed that, saying how grateful they are that I was there and I showed that it's possible also to have a birth like that. But also every time, by the way, when I was pushing, I was screaming like crazy because that was natural. I couldn't hold it in, like I don't know, when you allow yourself to, to make all these sounds, all these animal, wild sounds, right, like it. It helps really to breathe with a sound, to say like, oh, and, by the way, when it was painful, I also had an urge to cry and I allowed myself to cry and it was less painful when I cried yeah
Speaker 3:so allow yourself to scream, to make sounds, to cry, like whatever emotions are coming right, like express them and give them space, and yeah, and to the pain and and then it's much, much better. And I was amazed by that because, mean, compared to all my four previous births, it was a very different one because it was, yes, it was painful, but I managed to give space to pain and, as I said, the contractions were not as strong and not as long. Amazing, which was I was so surprised, but I understand, logically even, why that was the case. Because when you resist something, it prolongs, right, it wants to be seen and given space to like here I am see me already feel, already, you know. But when you allow it to happen, you're like, yes, I accept you, I'm giving you space, and it's like, yeah, we can now relax. You know there is no, no need to have that push.
Speaker 2:You know there is no need to have more struggle I think there's such a deep wisdom in that, in what you're saying right now, because it's applicable to life as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, toddlers yeah, and I mean like this birth as well, like, uh, like the birth process itself can be so well applicable to life. You know, like a lot of times we push things, we want things to, let's say, flourish or like bloom, or we want to get results sooner than it's possible. So, for example, when you're pregnant, your baby is going to be born at its own. It's his or hers time, you know, they know better when they want to be born, though your body and your baby, they work together and they know when the best time is. And the same is in life when you are giving birth to something, to some idea, project. You just need to relax, just let go and let it be born at the time when it has to be born.
Speaker 3:And this birth was also like something that taught me, like that. I still kind of refer to, yeah, when I think about my ideas, my projects, and sometimes I'm get frustrated like why is it taking so long? Like why no? Here the birth, the birth of a baby, just look at that. Yeah, the baby will be born, no matter what. Like, okay, let's say most of the time, right, yeah, of course, and just allow the baby to take the lead in that process, because it's their life and same with our ideas and projects. Right, it's like it's our babies as well.
Speaker 3:I love that and we don't need to push. We don't need to. How do you say this?
Speaker 1:Hurry, hurry everything along.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and when there is pain also, we don't need to resist, we just need to breathe it in, breathe it out, just go through it, let it go through, and then it will go out and will come out on the other side. So yeah, as you see, I've managed to talk about all my five that's impressive oh, there was one last thing in each birth that I had and that was the tearing.
Speaker 3:Yes, so for during my first pregnancy I came across a device which is called a Pino, which helps to stretch the vagina so that you don't have tearing during your birth and you kind of have to do exercises. Several weeks before the birth you have to start and then you need to do them every day, a couple of times a day. But when I asked my doctor about that device, she told me that yeah, there is no kind of real evidence, scientific evidence, that it helps and you don't have to worry about it, and so I basically forgot about it. But then when I had my first birth, I got a tear. It was not episiotomy, it was natural tear and I had to be stitched up and that procedure wasn't that painful, it was just the anesthetic was painful. Yeah, were you?
Speaker 2:given a local anesthetic shot.
Speaker 3:Yes, through the needle, yeah, and then everything gets stitched up by a doctor and that's it basically. Every time this happened to me, every birth, every time this happened to me, every birth, until my fifth birth, when I again remembered about that device. I even bought it this time, especially because my friend was like, so vocal about it. She was like you have to do it, you have to uh, train, and because it helped her and I was like, yes, I'm gonna do it. But then, uh, I realized that I'm not that disciplined and I wasn't as motivated to do it as I needed to be. And then I didn't do much. And then I teared up again during my fifth birth and had to be stitched up again. But, as I said, I think my lack of motivation was because I already experienced the stitching, the result, so to speak, the negative result, of not doing what I wanted to do. And it wasn't that bad for me. I wasn't afraid of it if, uh, but I would definitely recommend new moms who haven't given birth yet to try the device.
Speaker 3:Breastfeeding also, oh, maybe I could mention a little bit about that. Of course, the first time, uh, no one told me that milk would come suddenly, let's say because I think two days after the birth, like because it doesn't come straight away, right, like, yes, the baby's sucking on the breast, but there is not much milk. And then suddenly the milk comes and the first time no one told me, yeah, that I had. Yeah, I was like my breasts were like, um, made out of wax. I was like touching them and they were like, oh, my god, like a candle and it was super painful, uh, and then it took some time for the baby to really remove the milk.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, and for some reason I didn't get help on that, although there were a lot of specialists and I mean here's London is a good clinic, but I don't know something there was no, so so much support in that, although they were always coming in and always asking and always very supportive and kind, and you know, like I don't complain at all, but that was a shock for me. You know I wasn't prepared for that. So for the second time I knew that this would happen and what I did so that it doesn't happen. I would keep the baby on the breast constantly, so several hours in the evening, like four hours in a row, like one breast, the other breast, the first breast, the other breast, and that was like just changing, you know know, the baby from one breast to another.
Speaker 3:And then when the milk came, uh, it was okay, like the baby. The baby was already sucking. Basically it came not that suddenly, and this was what I did with my other kids as well, especially like in the evening. They also say like when you um, breastfeed the baby in the evening it stimulates the milk production for the next day, so that the body kind of learns how much it needs. So it's really important to breastfeed like for several hours in the evening so that the body knows, oh yeah, for the next day we need even more, oh yeah, we need even more for the next day, and so on. And this was what I did, I think even for the first month, really breastfeed a lot in the evening, but then I breastfed on demand every one and a half to two hours I think, and it depends on the baby, like how much time they need to feed. But my last, my fifth baby, he would just feed for five minutes. He would empty the breast in five minutes.
Speaker 3:And then he would spit up half of it.
Speaker 1:Oh man Too fast too fast, that was so fast.
Speaker 3:But then, yeah, one and a half hours to two hours he would sleep or just yeah, or spit up, you know, For the next hour. We would hold him up the whole hour so that he can spit up everything that he doesn't need, and then he would sleep a little bit. Oh yeah, that was difficult. I was like breastfeeding is not as difficult as holding the baby, the little one who can't hold his head yet, for spitting up. Yeah, that was the most difficult part. But yeah, with breastfeeding, like I think this is like one of the most important things for me Like just feed the baby, uh, like both breasts, uh, several times I think that it's this um, the skin-to-skin contact and the frequent breastfeeding are are so key and um it is.
Speaker 2:It is a huge learning um curve and uh, it's a and one that moms have to learn really quickly.
Speaker 3:Oh, by the way, I didn't say about what happened after the baby was born. So basically the first three times. I always wanted skin-to-skin contact.
Speaker 3:So the baby comes out and they put baby on my breast and first the blood cord was cut, so the baby wasn't me, and then I gave birth to placenta.
Speaker 3:I think the baby was still on me and then at some point they took the baby to weigh, the baby to measure and all that, and they gave the baby to me and I was giving the breast to the baby. That was basically how it was. And also when I was giving birth in water also, first the baby was on me for some time and they're right, because to both water birth births I didn't give blood cord to to it. So the baby was a bit longer with blood cord attached, like five minutes. As soon as it stopped pulsating, basically yeah, and only then they would cut, I would also hold the baby a little bit. Then they took the baby to measure. I think I haven't. I mean I don't remember exactly, but you know you can, you can be active there, kind of you can say like, yeah, I want to keep my baby now for a little while, or yes, you can take the baby.
Speaker 2:I mean, people are responsive, yes brilliant, um, I think we will ask you our final question that we ask all our moms and you can interpret the question as you wish because you five, five little babies to talk about, five wonderful birth stories to talk about. But I will. We always ask this question and we would just love to hear your most brilliant moment, that moment that you remember, when you know if you had to say your favorite, most brilliant moment of your birth experiences, or that moment that comes and hits you when you're not even thinking about birth and you're like, oh yeah, I did that. Um, and that's where we'd like to end it today by you telling us what your most brilliant moment is most brilliant moment.
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't know. There were so many good moments, right good if it's hard to choose, yeah. I mean, of course, I was happy when the baby was in my chest. I think, yeah, that's fun. It's like oh yeah, finally, oh my God, oh yeah, like, oh my God, you're here, like this is unbelievable, like I can't even believe that you know because, yeah, all this pain and you know, like being pregnant for so long, it's like I can't even imagine that it's possible to to come out on the other side, all this preparation, yeah, and then the baby's here, like it's, it's unbelievable, like really.
Speaker 3:I think I had that, like especially the last time I was like oh, and I was like finally, finally, yeah, but it was so. You know, they're so cute when they are there and you know, like I hold them like oh, my God, they're so cute.
Speaker 1:Perfection. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing all of your story. Thank you so much for sharing all of your stories.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Swiss Birth Stories. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an inspiring birth story or expert insight. Your support means the world to us and helps this community grow, so please also take a moment to rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more parents-to-be. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend or loved one who could benefit from it, and be sure to follow us on social media at Swiss Birth Stories for even more tips, resources and updates on upcoming podcast guests, courses and events. We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and birth stories too, so feel free to DM us, fill out the form on our website, swissbirthstoriescom, or tag us in your posts. Until next time, keep sharing, keep learning and keep connecting with each other my child.
Speaker 3:You're perfect as you are. I love you always, near and far. Emotions come and go away, but love in my heart will always stay. Bye makes this world so bright. You can be anything you want in your life and in your dreams. My love is here. It's never gone. It's stronger than it seems. No matter how we feel each day, who's right or wrong, what we might say, my love for you it never fades In sunshine or in shades of grey. You can be anything you want In your life and in your dreams. My love is here. It's never gone. It's stronger than it seems. You can be anything you want In your life and in your dreams. My love is here. It's never gone. It's stronger. My love is here, it's never gone, stronger. I hold you close in every way. My love is here to stay. Remember to follow your heart every single day. You can be anything you want. Every single day, you can be anything you want In your life and in your dreams. My love is here. It's never gone, it's true.
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