Swiss Birth Stories

Delia- Four Home Births: Trust, Transforming Fear and Birthing on Her Own Terms

• Julia and Christine • Season 1 • Episode 5

Share episode

Delia's resources are below this description.

Delia shares her four powerful home birth stories that began when she was a young midwife trainee who discovered her pregnancy at 26 weeks. From catching each baby in her own hands to navigating birth as a young student, her stories exemplify trusting intuition and creating empowered experiences.

• Serendipitously discovering Ina May Gaskin's "Spiritual Midwifery" as a midwifery student and how that awakened her trust in physiological birth
• Working in the hospital during pregnancy as a trainee midwife and witnessing interventions that reinforced her desire for homebirth
• Experiencing pain-free birth by focusing on breath, trust and staying in the flow during labor and how this experience is possible for everyone
• Facing and moving through fear before and during birth
• Catching all her babies in her own hands
• Breastfeeding successfully despite being told by her family that she wouldn't be able to nurse
• Using instinctive knowledge during her second birth when she asked for a passionate kiss to relax her body
• Trusting her intuition
• Breaking away from her family's birth culture where all births were cesareans and breastfeeding wasn't practiced

Delia's resources: 

Her website with detailed birth stories, information on her birth preparation coaching, home birth and more (in German, if you want to reach out in English, send her an email): 

https://www.deliabaechler.com/

Instagram: 

@genussgeburt

Tiktok: 

@genussgeburt

Delia's book: GEBURT - SCHMERZFREI UND ENTSPANNT

https://geburtschmerzfreiundentspannt.com/

Please connect with us! See below for how to contact and interact with us:

To share your story: https://www.happydayhypnobirthing.ch/swiss-birth-stories


All episodes:

https://swissbirthstories.buzzsprout.com


Our websites:

www.swissbirthstories.com

www.happydayhypnobirthing.ch

www.lilybee.ch


Instagram:

@swissbirthstories

@happy.day.bumps.babes.beyond

@lilybeezurich


Tiktok:

@swissbirthstories


Substack:

https://julianeale.substack.com/



Julia Neale:

Hi, welcome to Swiss Birth Stories. I'm Julia Neal, mother, perinatal educator, hypnobirthing coach and trainee doula.

Christine Bliven:

And I'm Christina Bliven. I'm a doula, baby-wearing consultant, childbirth educator and mother of three.

Julia Neale:

Today on the podcast we have Delia, an inspiring mother and author, who shares her four powerful, deeply introspective home birth stories from Canton, basel Land. From catching each of her babies in her own hands to navigating birth as a young student midwife, delia takes us on a journey of trusting her intuition, facing fears and creating a birth experience far outside the expectations of her family and cultural norms. Delia's story is rich with wisdom and a reminder of what's possible when we surround ourselves with the right support and trust ourselves. I can't wait for you to hear it.

Christine Bliven:

Hey, delia, it's wonderful to have you here. We would love to hear a little bit about you and your family.

Delia:

Thank, you for having me here. I'm really excited. Yeah, I'm Delia, I'm 35 years old and I live, with my four kids and my husband in a very small village in Switzerland, so we have kind of 700 people living here. Yeah, and actually three of my children are born here in town and the first one was born two towns away. But yeah, and actually my first born she is now. She turns 14 this year, so I have like quite a yeah, the youngest one, he turns five. So I have like the whole uh range, I should say the full spectrum of um, like teeny to uh, the one who tries to get independent.

Julia Neale:

Yeah, yeah, and I'm really excited to be here and tell you about my birth stories we are so excited to have you here and, yeah, that is an amazing age range at the moment for you. I'm sure your home is full of love and a lot. Yeah, let's go back and tell us about your first pregnancy and anything else you want to add about your pregnancies in general.

Delia:

Okay, Well, when I got pregnant with my first daughter, I was 21 years old, so I was quite young for Switzerland and it wasn't planned and it was completely unexpected. And yeah, funny was that I started my. I was a midwife trainee, so I started my studies in midwifery in September and got pregnant in November. So I was like the whole it was so euphoric, this whole studies, and I was so into it and actually I think that made it that I got pregnant that fast and yeah, and what's really funny is that I didn't know it until the 26th week and that's possible as a midwife trainee. Wow, and actually it was the best thing that could happen to me, because I think the pressure from outside, from my surrounding, my parents and all the people around me expect my husband would have been so, um, strong.

Delia:

I I'm not sure whether I would have kept the baby or not, because it was like, oh, you're 21, you, you don't have any job, nothing, you just have the how do you say? The matura. So I just graduated from school, yeah, and so, and it wasn't the 13th week, no, it was the 26th, so it wasn't possible to do anything. Just keep the baby, yeah, and I, I'm really I'm not. How do you say I'm like this, so thin person. So people ask me why you didn't see any growing belly, or yeah, and I was like, no, but actually overnight when I had this pregnancy test, overnight you have it bumped out and it was quite obvious that I'm pregnant, yeah so that was funny.

Delia:

So my first pregnancy was like I didn't have any symptoms, expect I was really tired, but that was not special to me because I always had low um iron, low iron, yeah um.

Delia:

So it wasn't, it was winter and I was like, okay, I'm just tired but, I didn't have anything else, so I also didn't have didn't, so I also didn't have didn't worry a lot. Yeah, I, I didn't have something to worry about because I didn't know that I was pregnant, yeah. And then after that, well, it was April and I was like, okay, we are pregnant quite far, so I have 14 weeks left. So I have 14 weeks left. And well, it was lucky for me, I was a midwife trainee, so I had a lot of how do you say Knowledge, knowledge, exactly. I had a lot of knowledge from what's happening in my body during pregnancy and so I wasn't really bothered with that. And yeah, actually, my husband and I we lived at our parents, so we had to move out.

Delia:

My husband, he just was kicked out of the university because he didn't well, half a year before he had the bachelor. So it was like he didn't, um, well, half a year before he had the bachelor. So it was like he didn't pass the exams two times. So he was like out of university, no graduate, no graduation, yeah, yeah, wow, yeah. And no, we, we had no money, nothing. Well, yeah, we didn't work, wow. And so the plan was that I finish my first year from the midwifery studies and then pause a year and after that I will start again. And so three weeks before my due date I had my exams and I passed them, and then I had like three weeks left for really prepare for birth.

Julia Neale:

And how did you go about preparing for birth? How did that go? Obviously, as a midwifery student, as a young woman, how did all these factors come into play?

Delia:

I I didn't when didn't go to a course or I didn't take, yeah, but during pregnancy well, it was quite at the beginning of my studies I was in the library and I found a book and it was the book from Ina May Gaskin. And that was really what a book to find and that really, really changed everything for me. So I started in September and actually it was the moment I got pregnant where, when I found that book so it was I was in the library and I thought, oh, that looks so nice, because it was like it wasn't like this book from there, this medical stuff. It was like um, blue and with ornaments and the title was Spiritual Midwifery and I was like, oh, that's for me, that's really what touches my heart. And I read these stories. It was like the first part it's her story, then the second part, it's like all the women telling about their stories and at the end the second, well, third or second part of the book is like the whole knowledge, midwifery, the tech, not technical stuff, the medical stuff, yeah, where she gives advice to midwifery how to handle different, well, how to handle the birth process or not handle actually hands off.

Delia:

Yeah, and I read it and it was like it touched something in me and I didn't know at that time what, but for me it was like this is true and not what I see when I work in the hospital. It's like there is my heart telling me well, there is something to happen to this holy process, to happen to this holy process and it's really wrong what's happening now to all the women here in the Western society. But actually I was 21 years old. It was like you don't have any experience, you have no idea, so please shut up and just do what you're told um to do. And yeah, so this was like it was my bible. Yeah, I had it, and I read the stories over and over again like three or four times in this pregnancy, because I thought it was the best thing for me to have my mind focused on the positive, and not only the positive. There are also stories about premature babies or babies who didn't make it. But actually the whole thing around this tragic thing happening was so full of love and like, yeah, that's how it should be. And that touched me. And it was like it kept my my mind focused on the positive, although I knew, yeah, it's possible that something happens and that I don't want. But actually, then it has a purpose and it's not for me to judge or to say it's good or bad.

Delia:

Yeah, yeah, and perhaps it was also like I was quite a rebel not a rebel rebel, but for, like, I grew up in a very um, my parents were strict. Well, just quite strict, strict and um, I, I, until I was 19, I really had the. I just believed in the same things that my parents did, and when I heard me talking, it was like the words my parents use and I had the same opinions and I didn't really I, I didn't grow up in a house where you were, where they encouraged you to think for yourself and build up your own opinion. So, and then I got like, I started listening the music of Bob Dylan and I got all these.

Delia:

I thought, oh, I should have been born in the 68 and yeah, and I don't know, being a hippie, a hippie, being a hippie, and Woodstock, and yeah, that was like, oh, I'm really born in the wrong time.

Delia:

But it was just like the feeling of freedom that this um, whole hippie movement, um, that touched me. And so this whole Ina May story that started in this time was like it was. It fit, fit to me, yeah and um, yeah. And actually when I was pregnant then it was for me so obvious that I don't want to give birth in the hospital, because I was working there and I saw what happened to the women and they. For me it was so hard because they trusted the hospital that they are safe and because of time lack of time, lack of enough people working there there were interventions and everything and what should have been the most joyful day of the woman and the couple turned out as a nightmare and I had to do a. How do you say training in the hospital? Well, I was in university and then the last two months of the year I had to work at the hospital.

Julia Neale:

With a big belly, yeah.

Delia:

So I was eight months pregnant working there, month pregnant working there and um, it was um luck for me that I I could um switch, because actually I should have. I should have had to work in the um where the the mother gave birth, the delivery room, but then I can could could change to um the yeah, the recovery area maternity, yeah the maternity ward.

Delia:

Yeah, yeah, exactly so I, I was the. I wasn't where birth took place, but after, because I thought perhaps it would have been difficult for me to be present at so many different births. And well, just weeks before I had to give birth myself, yeah, and I was working there and actually it was like I had to. I was, I had, I was more time discussing why I had to do certain things that didn't felt right, that didn't feel right, instead of working. I was like it's so weird. It's so weird, yeah. So that was really like for me.

Delia:

It was so clear that I will not give birth at a hospital, not because the people there were bad or well, because I saw there were midwives, it was really their passion to work there, but the surrounding of the hospital, well, the finance of the hospital, all these and perhaps a doctor who couldn't see the whole picture, and I didn't want to be a midwife that did home birth and who had a birthing center, so that my plan was to start at home and if, because of anything, you should change environment, well, we can first go to the birthing center and then, when nothing happens, the last option would have been the hospital. So that felt safest for me, yeah, and so my. I think my preparation for birth was really how can I avoid hospital and not? What do I have to do during the birth?

Christine Bliven:

Yeah, you already knew that from your training.

Delia:

Well, actually it was like this book of Ina May Gaskin. It awakened something in me. There was I, I was, so I trusted myself. I couldn't say why, but I knew I was. I am a woman and I was meant to do that.

Delia:

And in my um in at the university, we actually had one lesson there where they showed us a film, a documentary, about women all over the world giving birth, and it was like 1970s I think, and there was one scene where they were in Africa and they filmed a woman giving birth there and it was like she was working on the field and then she felt, I think she felt some contractions. She went away alone, she went to a tree and she just labored there, but it was so peaceful and so quiet. And then suddenly, well, I think there were some cuts, but suddenly she hung over. Well, she hang on a tree, branch, branch, and she just gave birth to this baby standing. And then she took the baby, she leaned back to the tree, to the trunk, and she birthed the placenta and just went back to her village. Well, she, she had a towel. She wrapped the baby into the towel and packed it. Well, like a how do you say she?

Delia:

swaddled like yeah, yeah, swallowed and wrapped it around her breast, yeah, yeah, went back to the village and I was like, well, I can't say how much time there was in between, but that was like, yes, this is it, that's how birth should be. Yeah, should be, yeah, and I think it was really that film and the book of Ina May which, yeah, reminded me of something. So I was really like and I was meditating a lot in that time. Well, now, for me it's not. I tried to meditate. Now I'm 15 years older and I really have like a habit of meditating. So when I think back back then, it was like I tried to meditate, but it was really like a lot of the time in my head. But actually I did a lot of internal work.

Delia:

All my fears, because I was a c-section child. My mother had three c-sections. She didn't breast feed me or my siblings and all I heard during my childhood was like, oh no, it's better to have a c-section because you don't want this pain, and oh no, it's so much easier to feed the baby with the bottle because then you're independent and your breasts won't like hang down afterwards. So it was like it wasn't really the, it was like the actually the opposite. I now felt was um the right thing to do.

Julia Neale:

it's a lot of work to sort of get to that. When your first, your first like birth story is your own birth story whether you hear it or not, it's your story. And when you growing up with with one idea and then deciding to go your own path, this is, this is a lot of work For a 21 year old.

Delia:

This is a lot, yeah, and actually it was like also the now I think it was beneficial for me. Now, I think it was beneficial for me because at that time I really had some really big fight with my parents because they were so dominating and I was really like, in this I was a rebel and I rejected them, them. So it was, um, that also was part of my inner work to break free and, um, look what what's this? Um, yeah, this relationship between my parents and me and yeah, so I did a lot of inner work and then, um, in this inner May Gask book, I read the story of a woman who said that her birth felt like some LSD trip, like so mind blowing, and her consciousness really was expanded and she didn't feel any pain. And I was like, okay, this is what I want, this is what I want. And I saw this in this movie from this African woman and I hear it now from a Western woman. So I am. It was really like it hit me and I knew this is what I want.

Delia:

I didn't know how, but yeah, and then, um, my due date came and actually I had prodormal labor three weeks before. So I thought I, I was at that time I I was like um, afraid that it could come early, so I would, would not be allowed to um, do the home birth. But actually no, and it was like prodominal labor. It was just my, my belly contracting but getting hard. But no, it was no pain, nothing. I just felt sometimes it was like uncomfortable because I couldn't really walk that good and yeah, and my due date came and it passed and so I, um, it was when I recognized that now fears coming up, but not fears of giving birth. But what is when labor doesn't start? Because my mom, with her first baby, she tried to induce for two weeks I think, and labor didn't start and she was like walking a lot and working and nothing happened.

Delia:

So they did a C-section. She never had any contractions and at that time in the 1980s, it was like one C-section and all the babies after would have to be born in another C-section. So I felt this fear coming up. I was really afraid of a C-section. So I worked on that and I didn't tell that part I was. So I was such a rebel and was really like this whole hospital thing, I want to be as far away as I can. So I didn't make. I didn't see a doctor my whole pregnancy so I didn't I do ultrasound or another checkup, it was just my midwife checking, well, heartbeat and everything, yeah. So I had no vaginal examination, nothing, and we didn't know where the placenta was lying. Well, she told me that when it is a placenta, who covers the Cervix, how do you say?

Delia:

cervix yeah, the cervix. Then you sometimes you start bleeding during pregnancy. So she thought that it's not possible to have that. And yeah, it was really like my midwife, she, she, she's like my hero, because she trusted me. Yeah, she was the one who made, made it possible for me to experience that, because she trusted me and we had just um, uh, how do you say um, I I promised her that when her intuition says now you have to do a checkup or now we have to see a doctor, then I would agree. But as long as she felt okay, I can do whatever I want. Yeah, so that was perfect for me.

Julia Neale:

Hi, I'm Julia from Happy Day and I'm here to support you in creating a peaceful, empowered birth experience, whether you're seeking relaxation, stress reduction or effective ways to manage pain. My birth preparation course, hypnobirthing Plus, gives you the tools to feel calm, confident and prepared to tackle the unknowns surrounding birth. To feel calm, confident and prepared to tackle the unknowns surrounding birth, hypnobirthing Plus is a unique two-day program designed for couples who want a deeper, more personalized approach to birth preparation. In this course, we cover everything from understanding your body's physiology to mental techniques that reduce fear and boost confidence. You'll also learn practical techniques for birth partners to have a positive, empowering impact on your experience. Additionally, we dive into your rights and choices and possible interventions, ensuring you feel both well informed and supported.

Julia Neale:

The course is offered in a small group setting in Ooster, just 25 minutes from Zurich, as well as live online to give you the flexibility you need. With limited spaces available, this is the perfect opportunity to prepare for birth in a supportive, empowering environment. Spaces fill up quickly, so visit happydayhypnobirthingch today to book your spot in the next Hypnobirthing Plus course and take the first step toward a calm, confident birth. And don't forget to connect on Instagram for tips, resources and special offers.

Delia:

Now back to Swiss birth stories then my due date passed and I think it was 12 days over due date. Then my midwife asked me um whether I want to drink some um cocktail with um this castor oil, and I think it was again lucky for me that I hadn't heard all the horrible stories that um are told with this castor oil like the side effects of diarrhea and so on exactly, and also these um contraction, um like how to say a lot of um, almost a flurry of contractions, yeah, yeah so I was really like I trusted my midwife.

Delia:

So, um, it was one evening my husband and I we went to a really good presentation. It was a foretalk how do you say yeah, presentation, yeah, and it was about magic mushrooms. So it was like the whole, all the people like it was glowing in there, the energy was so high. Well, nobody had magic mushrooms, did take them, but it was a presentation about that from different people and it was like it leveled up the energy. So I, when we got home at 11 o'clock, I was like glowing and I just felt that, yeah, something was different. So I, um, we drank this cocktail. Well, my husband, he, um, he didn't drink the same but also so we cheered and I drank it.

Delia:

And I went to bed and I think it was one o'clock in the morning where I felt a contraction start and I knew they are different now than all the prodormal labor I had, and so I got up and I was, I tried to get comfortable on before in front of the bed on a I with the knees on the pillow and my hands on the bed, and I just watched these contractions come and go and it was really fascinating what it did to me Because actually, I'm really impatient. I'm a really impatient person. So I detected myself in thinking, oh, can't it be over now, how long does it take, and when do things speed up? I want, yeah, I want to do it quick, because I was like, okay, I had all this knowledge from my midwifery training, so one hour, one centimeter per hour of opening, and I was like, okay, that can take very long time. So it was like I am. Now, when I look back, it was like I wasn't in the flow. Yeah, I was, it was. I didn't make the switch in my head. So, um, I was still thinking and try to like not controlling, but, um, labeling everything that's happening and yeah, but it wasn't. It wasn't uncomfortable, it wasn't painful, it was just like happening.

Delia:

And I think it was four o'clock in the morning where I told my husband, yeah, you should call the midwife now. And he told me well, no, you have to do it. And I was like, no, I can't, I'm just having contractions now. And he was like, no, but I don't know, I can't tell her how, how open your cervix is. And I was like you don't have to know that, just call and tell her, please come. Yeah, um. So I think it was five o'clock when my midwife arrived, and then they filled the pool with warm water and I think it was half past six or so when I could go into the pool and we lived in a small apartment in the second or third floor, so there were other people living with us and, yeah, and I thought, well, perhaps they will hear me. But nobody, nobody heard anything. So that was like, yeah, at that moment I didn't care about it, so I just started.

Delia:

Um, when the contractions got more intense, I started really, I was really focusing on breathing and made the sounds that came out of my mouth and that was something that helped me so much. So I was like I just had this one thought I want to have a painless, pain-free birth. In my head. It was like a mantra saying over and over again, and it helped me to. I always ask myself how can, what do I have to do, or what does my body have to do to that it stays as comfortable comfortable as it is now? So my body moved and I breathed through the contractions and made the sounds and, well, it wasn't like I didn't feel anything.

Delia:

So it was intense, yeah, and it was work that I had to do, but I think the biggest work was to keep my mind focused. So my mind didn't freak out. Yeah, because when this it sometimes it felt like a wave coming up and all I had to do was with my breath, just, um, just keep my mind. It was like my breath was like the? Um, like a lasso or something you have for the horse to hold it, and the horse was my mind. So I was like holding my mind but it didn't freak out and so my body just did the work and um, yeah, and then I suddenly I was ready to push and it was like I had, I think, nine or 10 pushes and that was really like I had to be really focused for that.

Delia:

So, um, at the first um, when the first contraction came, that was for pushing, it was like I was like, okay, now you have to guide me. I told my midwife, she, I told you have to guide me where I have to, um, guide this, this force, yeah and yeah. And it was like my midwife just was one with me. So she took her finger and she never touched me during the whole birth. I, no examination, nothing. But then she um, put her finger finger right next to my vagina and she showed me well, look there, you have to guide your, the energy. And well, it was like for this first push. And then I knew it. And actually in all the other birth I used then my hands.

Delia:

So when, the, when I felt like I need some, it was like during the birth, my, my consciousness, everything expanded. I was like really big and I couldn't really determine where my, my hands, where everything was. So, when this huge energy came, it was so helpful to have this finger showing me, hey, this part of the body you have to, um, yeah, guide the energy there. And so it started. And then there was one moment when my, my daughter's head was just before crowning, so the ring of fire.

Delia:

And then suddenly I fell out of the flow and my midwife, she, recognized it and she asked me well, delia, what happened? And well, there was just milliseconds, but in my um experience it was much longer, because I felt a fear coming up which I didn't um, which I didn't detect before, and I was so afraid of tearing because during my um, um, my training, when I was eight months pregnant, I had to um care for a woman. She was the same age as me and we went to school together and she teared very bad, so really really bad, and she had. So it was so painful afterwards and she was like she couldn't really hold this baby and nurse it because all the time there was this pain. So, yeah, that was my fear. I didn't want to tear, yeah. And she asked me what happened and I fortunately I could. I could well, I could say well, it's that I'm afraid of tearing. And then she touched my shoulder, she looked at me and she said don't worry, your body is perfectly designed to do that, just let go. And it was like a well in my head something switched again and I was back in the flow and the next contraction was coming. And then I pushed her head out. And that was so amazing to me because now I knew, even when I'm not able to detect all my fears during pregnancy or before birth, it's possible to do this during birth, just when I am open and aware of the possibility that fears can come up and I want to face them. So I want to go over them, yeah, so, um, yeah.

Delia:

Then the head was out and with the next contraction or the next push, my little ET swam into my arms and it was so beautiful because nobody touched this baby, it was just me. She was just sliding out and I was able to take her. I was allowed to hold her on the water until I was ready to bring her up onto my breast. So we looked at this baby and after a few moments I took her onto my breast and it was amazing. She was quite blue, but not because she hadn't enough oxygen or something, and she cried right away, but she just looked like a little itty and her skin was wrinkly. Yeah, exactly Because she was really in my belly quite too long. It was like no white Wernicks, yeah, no white Wernicks, nothing. And I think she would be in my belly now with 14 years, because it was so comfortable for her in there. There was no way she would have come out from um of her own, so I really had to kick her out with this castor oil evicted.

Delia:

Then I had this baby and I was really convinced that it's a boy, because during my pregnancy, when I first knew that I was pregnant, I had the feeling I will get a girl. Then, right the night after well, I had this positive pregnancy test. The night after, I dreamt from Ina May, who touched my belly and she could like in my dreams she could reach into my belly and hold this baby. And she looked at me and told me Delia, don't be disappointed when it's a boy. So I was like, okay, and actually for me this was okay, I will get a boy. But now I know it was like be open to everything, and not only the gender, but also if there's something else with the baby, or yeah and yeah. So my midwife, I think after 15 minutes, she asked me if I want to look if it's a girl or a boy, and I was like, oh, I'm so sure that it's a boy. So I think it took us half a day when we decided her name, but actually it was the same name we would have given her as a boy, because it fits for both. Yeah, and I think the best part afterwards was when I was in my bed in my home and my midwife went out to buy breakfast.

Delia:

So this croissant now how do you say in English A gipfel? Here's a Gipfel. Yeah, and a really big pot of coffee. And I was like in heaven it was. So that was. I think it was the best coffee and the best Gipfeli ever? Yeah, and she was born at half past nine, so for a first time mom, it was quite a short labor and actually she had well, she, when she was born, my water just broke when her head came out. So the how do you say? The call, call? Yeah, the sack was um, protecting her hair, her head, of being deformed. Yeah, and she had a.

Christine Bliven:

Really big head.

Delia:

Well, I, I know this is what the most of the babies had in the hospital. So she had quite a big head and I was a first-time mom and it was like my. My midwife told me well, del, I think all the other babies will fall out, because she really made the way. Yeah, she freed the birth channel, so it's really open now. So when you're able to give birth to such a big head, well, nothing else will bother you then and I was like okay, and I teared just a little bit, but, um, it was also.

Delia:

My midwife led it up to me whether I had I wanted to have it, um, stitched up. Yeah, and I didn't want because it was really um, 0.5 centimeters, so really, really small. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like I was in my bed and I thought, wow, crazy, I made it. Yeah, I did it. And I was really proud of myself also because, well, afterwards I think it was one or two days I realized that I really had a pain-free birth and it was so amazing for me because all I experienced before it was completely different. All these fears and this. Yeah, I knew it doesn't have to be like that and, yeah, I think it was when my mission was born to kind of reveal. Reveal what I have to do as a woman to get the birth that actually, that is pain-free, is relaxed and full of love and that you can enjoy. Because it was some. It was like, um, that it was like a miracle. Yeah, for me it was like birth, as an energy kind of took me by my hand and guided me and just revealed her true nature. It was like the birth telling me look, delia, that's how I am really. So please tell the women out there what they can do, that they can experience birth the way it should be.

Delia:

Yeah, and actually I was 21. I was too young. Nobody believed me. Everybody told me yeah, perhaps you just can't remember how it felt. Or it's like after an accident, when you're so shocked that you can't remember the details, or somebody. Well, some people told me yeah, actually you were always special, so you're kind of crazy. Perhaps that's possible for you, but that's not possible for everybody. Yeah, and actually that was where my air guides. How do you say that? Oh, I will explain it our way. It was like in me, um, when, during my whole life, when somebody told me this is not possible, you can't do this. Well, I was there and showed everybody that I can do this. So that was when people were telling me that's not possible and I was like, okay, I will show you that this is possible for every woman.

Christine Bliven:

Like ambition.

Delia:

Yeah, exactly.

Christine Bliven:

Hi, I'm Christina, a doula, baby-wearing consultant, childbirth educator and mother of three. I'm the owner of Lilybee, a family hub in Zurich where you can find resources, community and support in English as you begin your journey into parenthood. It takes a village. Find yours here.

Delia:

Yeah, yeah. And then just life just happened. I never finished my midwife training because actually at that time it was like you have to do it full time. You were not able to do it like 50%. So for me there was no option. So for me there was no option. That was no option because it would have meant to my daughter to grow up at my parents' house, because it's four years full time and then actually you should work to get the experience, and that was not the way I wanted to be a mom.

Delia:

So I really felt that my mother heart couldn't do that. So, although I actually, it was like when I started midwifery training, I just knew I'm right here, it's the right place to be, this is what my heart wants to do, and it was. It felt like quite a sacrifice to say no, um, yeah, but now, 14 years later, I think it was the best, best thing I could have done, because it prevented me from um being in this system of thinking. And now I experienced three births, another three births and the also. These experiences were so amazing and mind-blowing and I think it wouldn't have. It would have been hard to go back into this clinical system, in this clinical setting and keep that, yeah that picture of how birth should be.

Christine Bliven:

That is really powerful and, yeah, like you were enlightened. You know through what you read and what you experienced, and then it's hard to box yourself back into the system that we've created for birth. Yeah, what did it look like for you postpartum? Were your parents back in the picture? Were they on board after?

Delia:

parents back in the picture? Were they on board after? Well, actually also during pregnancy, there were, um, they were never they, they were never outside the picture. Actually it it was like before I knew I was pregnant.

Delia:

I had this really hard fight with my dad because I wanted to move out of my parents' house and I, I, I didn't, I wasn't able because, um, I didn't get a? Um stipendium how do you say a? I didn't get money from the government because my dad was, his salary was too high. So and he told me no, I won't give you the money to live in an apartment, because you can live here and with the train connections, it's everything, it's okay. And so we had this really hard fight. It's everything, it's okay. And so we had this really hard fight. And he also attacked my, my, my husband, my boyfriend then, well, attacked verbally. So, um, we had some. I went um living at my boyfriend's house for three weeks and, and during these three weeks, my parents went to holidays for one week the last week, and during these three weeks I detected that I was pregnant 26 weeks. So it was like the moment we got back together, my and I, I told them that I'm pregnant in the sixth month. So, and I'm really grateful on how they reacted yeah, I think they well, they had to make the decision whether they get angry and perhaps they will lose me, or whether they say, ok, let's look how we manage this. So they were never outside the picture during the pregnancy and postpartum, but for me it was like it was. Perhaps that was even harder for me because I tried to break free from this really strong connection and dependency. Yeah, and well, they were. Really. They were afraid of me doing a home birth, what can well? All the things that can happen. So they were really happy when everything went well and they were also totally in love with our daughter. So they were really happy, in love with our daughter. So they were really happy. The only thing was that bothered them a lot was our financial situation. Yeah, and now, as a mom, I I can relate to that. Yeah, but for me and my husband it was like no, we don't want any money from you. Well, yeah, we were. Yeah, I didn't want this dependency. Yeah, and postpartum, I think.

Delia:

Well, at the beginning, I always heard the story of my mom that, as a woman with small breasts, you're not able to breastfeed. I was a woman. I am still with small breasts. You're not able to breastfeed. I was a woman. I am still with small breasts. So I thought, oh my God, that will be so difficult. But I really I was.

Delia:

I felt like a cow. I had so much milk and it was incredible for me to watch my, my boobs growing, growing like this. And I had so much milk and it was summer and it was so hot and because of this, um, because of the temperature, the milk just um kept um coming out of my breasts, although my little one didn't suck. So I was like, with these small glasses where marmalade is in, I was walking and sitting with these under my breasts just to just that the milk wasn't dripping out and was lost. So I collected the milk like that and it was amazing for me because I was like, okay, now I really trust my body.

Delia:

Yeah, birth was one thing where actually I grew up with this, thinking that the body of a woman can't handle birth. Yeah, you have to do a C-section and the body of a woman can't nurture a child. And so there was my proof. It came and yeah, it was amazing and I was really like the mom who nursed her baby everywhere. I think there was my age and my rebellious attitude that it. It didn't bother me to um breastfeed my baby in public or in the train or in a cafe, everywhere, and I didn't have, uh, where you put the babies into. How do you say kingdom? Yeah, I didn't have. I just had the um?

Christine Bliven:

um talk to the baby wearing wrap or yeah?

Delia:

so I was really the opposite of my mom and actually I think it was like I had to break free. So I had to do it the other way around and I'm really glad, or happy, that it went that way, because I had all the benefits of carrying my baby and breastfeed her as long as she wants it, her as long as she wants it, and I stopped. Well, she was how do you say? She nursed at evening and then I put her down from the chair where I was sitting and she tried to walk but she couldn't manage. And it was the moment where she stood there and just walked away from me and never, ever again wanted to nurse. So it was like I was like another time, mind-blowing that, as long as I trust my baby, that she knows what's good for her, and I just be there and give her my time and all the space she needs and all the disnurturing, well, she knows when it's when, when, when it's enough. Yeah, then she walked away. She was how do you say? Self-sustaining, independent, exactly, yeah, exactly yeah.

Julia Neale:

Yeah, I've loved this, wow. But before we say goodbye, we have one question. We ask everyone at the end of the conversation and I'm curious what your answer is. Our question is we would just love to hear your most brilliant moment from any of your births. This moment, something that maybe, when you're thinking about something else it pops into your mind, you're like, oh yeah, I did that. Or something that fills you with immediate pride or happiness. Anyway, what's your most brilliant moment?

Delia:

actually and I have all the other three births and I I start with one, but actually I think each birth had one um with my second birth, there was one moment where my second birth only took three hours and my midwife she didn't really make it in time. Well, she was there when her head was born and there was a moment my husband was lying on the couch, he was sleeping and he he filled up the pool. I asked him and he was lying on the couch and sleeping and it was 15 minutes before um, our second daughter was born and I just had the feeling, okay, okay, now the baby is coming. So I said, thomas, please come here, baby is coming. He was like he woke up and he was really confused and what? No, but the midwife isn't here and I was like, yes, but I feel it.

Delia:

And it was the moment where I felt his panic and it was another time where I fell out of my flow. So I and again there were, it was one or two seconds, but in my head was okay, I felt the next contraction coming. Head was okay. I felt the next contraction coming. I felt this tight, my my body tightening up and I was like, okay, that feels not good. I was like, okay, when now, when the contraction really is hitting the, the energy, and I'm tightened up like that, well, that will be painful. So I and then actually I was like, okay, please help me.

Delia:

I talked to my I don't know to myself please, I need an idea. And there was something that Ina May Gaskin always said it's like when your mouth is loose, ina May Gaskin always said it's like when your mouth is loose, then also your pelvis, your cervix, your vagina, everything is loose. And she always told the couple to smooch. So I was like, okay, thomas, please give me a kiss, I need it. And he was like, give me a, a kiss, but like so small. And I was like, no, no, no, you don't understand, I really need a kiss. And I like took him and, yeah, I quite ate him. I think it was like my tongue was inside his mouth. But actually it was the moment where I immediately felt this connection and it switched and I was back and the contraction yeah, she was. It was now at a coming, really a huge wave and I was back in the flow, I was relaxed again and it just happened. And then my baby was born with three pushes and it was really like amazing and that was really cool, I thought.

Christine Bliven:

I love that. That's such a great image yeah.

Julia Neale:

Yeah, my husband was really shocked and confused because he just slept a few moments before and now there's so many things coming at him and you're like, no, now is the time for a smoochy kiss. It's not like a little, this is a smoochy kiss time, like you mean it Come on.

Delia:

Yeah, kiss time, like you mean it come on, yeah, and that was that was for me another moment where I thought, well, it's so great that how our body works and it really works. Yeah, that was that was. That was one moment where I was like, oh, that was, wow, yeah, yeah, actually I have it. I think also the other two births had such a moment. Shall I tell you, or is it Tell us? Tell us, okay, my last birth. It was the moment during my pregnancy I thought I want to be all alone for this last birth, also without my midwife, without my husband. And I told this to my midwife and she said, okay, no problem, well, you can call me whenever you want. You call me during your labor or afterwards, whenever you want. You call me during your labor or afterwards. And then it was during the last week of pregnancy where I got this feeling okay, it's really necessary that she is present at birth. I couldn't say why, because I didn't detect any fears. So it was like two hours birth, so I felt the first contraction and exactly two hours later, our last baby was born and when he came out he was blue. He was really blue and quiet and it was. He wasn't. He had some, he wasn't. He was a bit toned, but not that much, he didn't cry. And well, everything was really quiet when, because he came out, I had two pushes, one huge contraction I thought she wouldn't, it wouldn't end and head was out. And the second one, he was out. So I think it was quite fast for him to come out.

Delia:

And, um, well, after a few moments, I asked my midwife um, is it normal that he is that quiet? And she told me, well, that he is that quiet. And she told me, well, it's no problem, but when you want, we can just rub him a little bit. And so we rubbed him and he and she sucked some fluid out of his nose and mouth. And then, I think after a few well, I can't say how much time, but his first cry came out and he turned how do you say pink.

Delia:

And at that moment, well, afterwards, I talked to my husband and he was like, for him it was so, so important that our midwife was present, because like that he could really experience the um, our baby, um, yeah, how do you say? Well, actually, for me it was no problem. I, I knew what I should do to keep make him going, yeah, but for him he told me that for him it would have been quite traumatic um, just him and me with this baby. And that was like, okay, that was another moment where I was like, oh, wow, when I, well, my, my soul, my dreams are talking to me, so when I am open to all the signs, it really guides me in every pregnancy, in every birth. And, yeah, that was a really fascinating moment again for me to know, okay, I just can trust me and myself. And, although I can't find the words why I just stay on this track and do whatever I feel it's right that's incredible.

Christine Bliven:

Thank you so much for sharing that. Yeah, so many, so many important lessons, lessons and things to learn from your stories and just to hear a different perspective from a lot of what we're exposed to.

Delia:

Thank you.

Julia Neale:

Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Swiss Birth Stories. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an inspiring birth story or expert insight. Your support means the world to us and helps this community grow, so please also take a moment to rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback helps us reach even more parents-to-be. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend or loved one who could benefit from it, and be sure to follow us on social media at Swiss Birth Stories for even more tips, resources and updates on upcoming podcast guests, courses and events. We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and birth stories too, so feel free to DM us, fill out the form on our website, swissbirthstoriescom, or tag us in your posts. Until next time, keep sharing, keep learning and keep connecting with each other.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Julia Neale

Host
Head Shot

Christine Bliven

Co-host